Intrusive thoughts !

[lostmind]

I don't even know where to start I'm in a bubble at the moment I can't get out of....
I've always suffered with anxiety and OCD and about 8 years ago the thoughts started.... it was a bad time and I did get past it and lived a happy life until more recently it's started again I don't want to say the thoughts but they are unwanted :(
I worry a lot and sit feeling like an awful person and the guilt is immense !!!!
May I also add im pregnant everyone will say it's my hormones but I agree until I get anxious over that too ! Any advice or just a hug would be helpful as I don't want to speak about it to anyone I know :(
Thanks in advance
Xxxxx

Could you go private?

I'm really not sure I can afford it ! I hate to feel at a loss here I'm meant to be going through a happy time

I have no idea of your circumstances but for me it was a worthwhile sacrifice.
Cost changes depending on where you live as well (obviously London will be more expensive than other areas).

In case you want to find out more www.psychotherapy.org.uk/find-a-therapist/

Can you try self help, mindfulness, ACT, CBT. All great for all anxiety disorders. Ideally you want therapy, i myself didn't have therapy but self help and a bit of advise from a few professionals. It takes time and practice to feel better but it's doable and many have been in your shoes and got better. Have hope and don't feel bad for not being joyfully pregnant. Most women who are pregnant have so many ups and downs with emotions, worries and sometimes just hormones or tiredness. It's a myth you should be beaming from ear to ear. Given how anxious you are too it's perfectly normal to not feel much else other then fear. It's impossible to feel joy and fear at the same time!

My thoughts are about food and control once I've eaten it. Don't ask! Ridiculous I know and started following a panic attack. I'm just letting them pass now and sometimes it's not easy but I know the more I focus worry and stress the more they pop back to say hi. I used to have the hurting my kids one years ago when suffering from PND. Equally unpleasant.

It's really so awful at the moment :( everything is making me anxious and slightly paranoid

Sorry to hear it's giving you a hard time user. Have you ever tried mindfulness? In of itself it has proven really helpful for people with anxiety. I discovered it for myself in yoga and it really gave my mind some space.

Il look into that is it an app? Yeh it's just good days and bad I worry to much it's a vicious circle

You're completely not alone.

Mine are mainly sexual or violent, often both. I have learnt to let them be.

My biggest fear is them becoming normal and/or slipping into reality.

Yes you can get mindfulness apps. I haven't used them myself but Headspace is one I have heard of that is recommended.

Thanks for the replies ....
I have become worse recently it's like I'm trying to deny it and then I feel worse !

The more you fight your thoughts the more they persist. Easier said than done to try ignore them and let them go but it helps. Xx

OCD is really crap isn't it. Have you looked on the OCD UK website - they've got really good stuff on there. Re: Therapy the best therapy is one called Exposure and Prevention Response Therapy - so it's different to how you approach other anxiety disorders. The point of the intrusive thoughts that reoccur with OCD suffered is that they are the opposite of what you would do, which is why there are so disturbing and upsetting.

They are just thoughts, they have no meaning.

If you can identify the thought as an OCD type one then you know it's ok and it can sit there as long as it wants.

Other things that can help:

Eat healthily, some foods are better than others for mental health
Exercise - walk if you can 30 mins a day
Mindfullness - Headspace, Smiling Mind apps are good for helping you to focus
Do things you enjoy - listen to music that makes you feel good, sport, see friends, watch comedy programmes.

The better you feel about yourself the harder it is for OCD to work

Can you get referred for therapy?

Hope that helps a bit

just read what you said about getting referred - as you're pregnant they might get you seen quicker? worth a try. If you go for a private therapist find out if they do the Exposure and Prevention Response therapy. My dd is currently doing it and it's working.

just thought of something else: there's a really good book I got a couple of months ago called Break Free From OCD by Dr Fiona Challacombe, Dr Victoria Bream Oldfield and Professor Paul Salkovskis. Might help. My dd found it a relief that the type of thoughts she was having were actually in this book - it wasn't just her and it's normal. It made her feel loads better x

I understand! suffered with anxiety for many years then turned into ocd when I had my first son! suffered with scary Intrusive thoughts about harm. I read a lot of books about ocd and anxiety. It helps as it really is just your worst fears.

I've had it for years but the intrusive thoughts have come back worse with this pregnancy :( guilt and feeling like a discusting person I will speak to my midwife I don't trust easily so it hard to open up thanks for all your advice though I'm not alone although wish I could take it away from everyone