I know I am posting a lot just now but feel I am losing touch with reality and the more people I talk to the more it helps. CPN told me to start on tablets - Mirtazapine which I got last week, Thursday I think but I've not started them yet. Mainly due to the manic highs which make me feel good and that I am in control and somehow able to live in this special state of being. But I also know from my diary I have been doing some very destructive things. And today I started talking to myself and my kids have noticed. I have to start these tablets but am afraid that I won't cos I am not focussed enough. So can I ask if someone can just check in with me tomorrow and hand hold me. Thank you so much.