I have such bad toilet anxiety that i've considered wearing nappies....

[Proudaspie]

I'm cross posting here and in the SN section for traffic, i realize how crazy it sounds and that i need to get some help in this area as it's irrational thoughts, i know this, but who do i talk to, My GP?
What will they do, I'm not sure if it's a germ fear or a fear of being attacked, it doesn't help when I've read on here about the men who are invading women's spaces. It's all built up over the last few years and i just can't face public toilets anymore.

I hopw you are seeking help on this OP and aren't just trying to live with it alone.

I have an appointment with my GP on Friday. I'm hoping help will be quick as i'm struggling to live like this.

Best of luck for the appointment, I am sure you will get help

My GP gave me a short trial of antidepressants, it seems to be the answer to everything. but i am on the waiting list now to see someone for CBT.

I just generally feel pretty crappy and ashamed of myself of feelign like i do.

I also brought a package of nappies after a particularly bad day but haven't go to the point of wearing them.

Well done for getting some help. You should be proud.
Which antidepressants are you trialling?

Sertraline 30 days worth at the moment.
But reading online most people don't even start seeing effects in that time.

Yes, OP, most people need more than 3 weeks to start to be able to see any change. Good luck with it; hopefully the AD will take the edge off things so you can cope better. If this AD doesn't suit then there are different options (different ADs). While you wait for CBT you might find Overcoming Anxiety by Helen Kennerley helpful.

I was on sertraline for 2 years. Amazing drug. You might feel a bit iffy at first but please stick with it and within the month hopefully you'll see some benefits.

you have nothing to feel ashamed of, you should feel proud of yourself for these small steps.

Little Steps OP

very positive news!

This is actually a really common form of anxiety, don't shame yourself. Getting carried away with fears is easily done if you don't have understanding about avoidance and how the mind works. Most people don't, so it's natural to react and avoid situations. It's human instinct to fight or flight fear. In reality neither is useful in a situation like yours. Your CBT will likely really help you move forward, so for now be kind to yourself. You've made the first steps to getting better.

Portajohn from Amazon?

You could use in the back of a car if desperate.

www.amazon.co.uk/Travel-John-66918B-TravelJohn-Disposable/dp/B0019M7VE6/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1493903478&sr=8-1&keywords=portajohn&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Could you get a radar key (eBay/Amazon) and used the disabled toilet as it's a bit more private. I think you would be justified too due to anxiety.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this, it sounds v stressful and limiting for you. Have you identified what are the actual thoughts you have in your head about what you believe will happen if you use a public toilet, OP?

It sounds like you are 'catastrophising', do you know what that means, basically imagining the worst case scenario, however irrational and believing it to be the absolute truth. Sometimes writing down those thoughts and then looking at them objectively can help get some perspective.

Have a look at this, it's 10 types of distorted thinking. See if you can identify some of your thought patterns here.

sourcesofinsight.com/10-distorted-thinking-patterns/

Destinysdaughter a few of them sound very much like me, but I'm not sure as these thoughts are not all the time, sitting thinking about things at home i can generally see how irrational things are but when I'm out in the situation it doesn't work like that.
It's hard to explain to people.

I also brought a package of nappies after a particularly bad day but haven't go to the point of wearing them.

If you think it will help then wear them. don't give a fuck what others think.

seahag
I feel so disgusted with myself about the whole thing, i've been in tears about it.

OP, the Thinking styles mentioned above come from CBT so one of the first things your therapist will do is help you recognise what type of thoughts you're having and when and what sort of behaviours you're carrying out that maintain the problem. The therapist will also help you to manage thoughts about yourself: I'm bad, I'm disgusted by myself etc. Though I don't expect you believe it at the moment please take it from me as a psychotherapist of many years, anxiety in all its manifestations (OCD, phobias, GAD, health anxiety etc) is incredibly common and you are not weak or disgusting or any other label, you are simply human. I really recommed the anxiety book I mentioned in a PP as it's CBT based and I hope will give you some useful insight. Hold tight and please give yourself some compassion until you can get some support to manage this problem - and it IS manageable and can be vastly improved.

Thank you OkHun.

The antidepressants don't seem to be having any effect other than making me feel sick I might stop taking them.

Do not stop. You must just take one at the same time every day like a robot and only after a few weeks will you know if they are working. It's too early yet to see any benefit.
Please keep posting xx

Thank you LapinR0se. I actually wore a nappy today but it didn't make me feel any better, if anything it made the anxiety and feeling of being disgusted even worse. There are times when i feel there's no hope.

Are you having any CBT?

Please keep taking your medication, it might seem like an endless / pointless chore right now but you can work through this.