Hand hold please - anxiety attack this morning

[Teaandbiscuits88]

Hi everyone

Sorry if this all comes out a bit jumbled. I can't think straight at the moment.

I have OCD, health anxiety and panic disorder. I'm on sertraline with a very mild dose of diazepam there if I need to take it (I very rarely take these). I'm having weekly CBT meetings with a lovely therapist.

So this morning I stupidly googled the pain I have in my tailbone. Saw the word 'cancer' and immediately panicked. I lost all sense of logic. Within minutes I was down on the floor having a panic attack. Fortunately my husband was home and able to talk me through it but it was the worst one I've had in several years. I was shaking, sweating, numb, tingling, dizzy and nauseous. I genuinely thought I was dying and unlike during other more recent episodes, I couldn't tell myself it was just anxiety and I couldn't listen to my husband.

Obviously it did pass after a little while but now I'm filled with dread about it happening again. Ive taken 2mg of diazepam to try and get my anxiety back under control but I feel like such a failure. I really felt like I was back on the right track and now I'm letting my family down. I know I'm not really, but that's what my brain is telling me.

My mum and sisters are coming down to spend the day with me as I have a four month old baby and could use the company.

I'm just so frustrated and drained. The diazepam has made everything a bit foggy but hasn't helped massively.

Not really much point to this post, just wanted a self pitying moan. I just feel so down.

Firstly have a huge hug secondly you are not a failure. That's how I feel after a panic (Had one last night) but that's just another negative thought. Setbacks are crap - I've just had two great weeks then with a little help from my hormones I've had a setback. And 3am this morning I felt just like you but it will slowly pass xx

I hope you feel better today

I'm really late returning to this thread but I just wanted to say thank you to you both. I did read the comments at the time and they helped give me some comfort.

I've seen my therapist since this and discussed what happened and I'm feeling much more positive this week.

Thanks again xx

I have issues with anxiety mainly around travelling. Last year whilst on holiday and feeling particularly bad I read a book by Joshua Fletcher called: anxiety panicking about panic. It's helped me enormously, I learnt that panic is just a ton of adrenaline being dumped, that it will not kill you, that it will pass, that it is JUST anxiety nothing worse. If ever I feel it descending I tell myself it's just anxiety over and over and it passes. It's worth a read x

Glad you're feeling better teaandbiscuits! Honey that sounds like a good book and a really simple way of describing it. Goinv to look it up on eBay or Amazon x

Thanks Honey - I too am going to have a look for that book! I'm reading a mindfulness one at the moment (finding peace in a franthc world I think it's called) which is really good but I'm always on the lookout for new stuff!

And thanks Jo

@Teaandbiscuits88 my dh is going through something very similar. it's extremely stressful. I know this is an old thread, but i wondered how it resolved for you? What was the cause of your DH's bleeding, if you don't mind me asking? Mine also has dark blood and colonscopy booked and I'm praying for it to be an ulcer and nothing worse @Teaandbiscuits88

Hi!

I’m sorry your dh is going through this - a colonoscopy is good because it’ll give you a very thorough answer. Keeping everything crossed that it’s nothing serious.

With my husband, it turned out to be that he has a sensitivity to naproxen. He’d been taking it for severe back pain and it had caused a bleed very high up in his intestines (which is why the blood was so dark). So even though all the initial tests came back with scary results, the colonoscopy showed that it wasn’t anything serious.

Really hoping it’s a similar situation with your dh 💙