Struggling with I think depression

[1Evaline1]

I'm really struggling with depression and anxiety issues. I have a 2 year old and my dp works away 5 days a week so it's just me and dc most days. I work part time. On my days off I really struggle to get dressed and up and out to keep the child occupied. I barely do any real housework (quick tidy and the washing) but no deep cleaning.

I seem to be eating my problems aswell and I'm so overweight I will stick to a plan for a few days then falter. I feel angry all the time for no reason and struggle when my child crys and I came bare the sound.

I lie awake at night fearing someone will break into the house. I don't shower as much as I should as I'm too tired all the time and I have very little clothes as I'm so overweight I feel what's the point in all this effort. Everything feels like a big task. I'm getting fed up with friends letting me
Down for things and I take it really personal. I'm sort of on a 'I hate everyone' at the moment.

I don't want to speak to a doctor as I don't want to take meds. The reason for this is my mother had a history of depression, took meds most of her adult life, ended up an alcoholic and committed suicide.

At the moment apart from my health mentally and being overweight I have a good life. We rent and I like the house, no money worrys.

What steps can I take to help myself without going to a doctor I really need to end this

Ate you able to talk to someone? Counselling may help unravel things?

I can understand why you worry about taking meds with your mothers history, but they can really help. ADs certainly saved my life in the past. Is it possible that the ADs Weren't the reason for your mothers alcoholism or suicide.

Also meds arn't the only thing your GP can offer. They can refer on for councelling or cbt too although the waiting list on the nhs are often long.

I can sympathise with you as I have felt this way for a while but it's only recently that I feel like I'm not functioning like I used to (a few recent life disasters)
Having a child I need to get out to school and sat/Sun activities helps get me up and dressed but if DH takes him instead I can literally be in my PJs til lunch.
Just to put your mind at rest,my doc was hesitant to prescribe pills and thinks that counselling would help me more.
Don't let this pull you further under before getting help, talking about how I felt was the hardest thing I ever did. I like to think I cope well and didn't need any help but recently I've realised that all I'm doing is coping not actually changing anything about my life.
We also have a nice house and a good life, bit rolling in money but enough for treats and days out. I think I felt I had nothing to feel depressed about. The anxiety and panic attacks started 4 months ago and that pushed me into facing up to things.
Good luck, I hope you find an answer xx

I wish I could help.. I was just coming here to start a post about the exact same thing believe it or not, I have 2 dcs, I am overweight I fell like a useless, worthless piece of shit nearly everyday, my OH doesn't work away but he goes out a lot and though I love him there are just some things I cannot talk to him about ( he lacks an understanding and emotional intelligence sometimes ) I drink about 3 times a week to allow myself to cry, I am so used to bottling everything up that I sometimes feel emotionless and need a couple of glasses to let go. sorry to drab on but it all started flowing out, I too don't want to go to the for fear of a number of things, and I just wanted to let you now you are not alone! I fear it will get worse but at the same time it's like I know I can't let it get worse, nobody knows this, I am very good at putting on an act and making out that everything is great, when I'm dying inside, one thing that keeps me going I knowing that my dcs need me.