I thought I was ok but today I've lied to dh

[ViolentDelights]

And called in sick to work. He left before me and will get home after me so he will never know. If I was physically ill then I wouldn't feel I have to be sneaky about it but as I'm already on medication I feel like I shouldn't be feeling like this anymore.

I'm taking sertraline for anxiety and while it's definitely helping I still have days like today where I get halfway to the door and then realise I can't do it. I make so many plans then cancel last minute it's ridiculous. I'm worried people think I'm just lazy. I'm now feeling physically sick because I'm getting anxious about having cancelled plans again.

I have done this before. Stayed off work but felt I had to lie about the reason why. Said I was feeling really crappy (half truth) but really I couldn't deal with anyone & just felt like hiding from the world.

Can you speak to your husband about how you've been feeling? Will he be supportive?

Is there anyone else you can talk to about it? CBT helped me with my anxiety. Not gone completely but have me tools to help deal with it. Where I am you can self refer but if that's not an option might be worth going to see GP and asking for a referral.

Don't worry about making plans and cancelling last minute. If it's with friends I'm sure they'll understand. Tomorrow is another day. Don't spend your day off worrying about what work or whoever is thinking. Spend it on self care. Sleep, take a bath, read, eat cake, relax. Whatever will help you

Thank you for the kind words. I've been on the waiting list for cbt since June last year. I'm checking out books on amazon at the moment - any recommendations from anyone would be great as there's quite a few.

Don't worry - I've done this. Just a sign that MH is bad if you feel like you can't say but doesn't mean you should.

Hopefully you've taken the time to relax etc and hopefully tomorrow will be a bit better, if nothing else then your body will have rested if not your mind.

I can't offer help re cbt ideas but when I have days like this I try and look at some photos of happy times, make some notes on things I'd like to do - all stuff that doesn't require much concentration if your focus is poor today

Despite my best efforts to relax I feel I'm on the verge of a panic attack. Dry mouth, stomach feeling like when you drive over a bridge too fast. Also a few times today had that thing when you stand up too fast and get dizzy and everything goes black for a second. Overall not at my best today!

Just because you're on medication doesn't mean you can't have bad days. Meds can help a lot but they arn't magic. Hopefully you are working your way to the top of the cbt waiting list. I've not had cbt, but have heard that it can be very helpful. For me something called nlp ( neurolinguistic programming ) helped enormously with anxiety. Now that was like magic!