I was 30 last week and I hate hate hate my life so much. Every one of my friends has their weekends filled with their other half, most are married with kids, and have that person there for the day to day things. On my 30 I had lunch with my mum, dad and sister, and afterwards we went shopping for my mums new sofa. My best friend took me out which was lovely. But when I compare this to most people's 30th, I feel like life is passing me by.
I'm independent, I own my own home and I earn enough money to get by ok without anyone else. When I date, people always want to go out again but I'm not that bothered.
Yet here I am on Sunday again, stupidly reading facebook and instagram and seeing people actually living their life.
I just want to be married and pregnant. There, I said it. I am so lonely but no matter how many dates I go on, I can't seem to find anyone who interests me enough to meet again. And I have tried. I;m wondering now if I have just become so depressed by the situation that I can't even see a decent man even when they're right in front of me.
I can't face being alone forever, and if I did I would know it was a very superficial empty life. I can't do it anymore. I want to not be here, my life is such a huge huge waste.