Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Flip

Original poster

Need something to calm me down in the evenings, any ideas?

24 replies

used2bthin · 05/03/2007 21:35

DD has a serious medical condition and i am extremely anxious about her anyway but it seems this is magnified in the evenings. Its got to the point that i'm not sleeping but i'm reluctant to take sleeping pills as i have to administer medicine and need to be able to drive in case \of emergency etc. I drink camomile tea which helps a bit. What i really want is something just to take the edge off all the awful things i imagine happening late at night. Any ideas welcome!

OP posts:

fransmom · 05/03/2007 21:36

maybe you could talk to your doc or hv about your concerns? x

Original poster

used2bthin · 05/03/2007 21:41

DD's condition is rare so gps etc usually tell me to speak to the consultants, they r great but sometimes my anxieties aren't entirely rational, or are over the top or whatever. In the day i'm quite cheerful and mostly confident about her but it seems as soon as it gets dark the panic/low feelings creep in.

OP posts:

improvingslowly · 05/03/2007 21:43

would doing a pilates/yoga type dvd in the evenings help distract/relax you?

isaidno · 05/03/2007 21:44

I don't mean to be flippant, but what about a hobby? Something you could do in the evening to take your mind off worrying?

Original poster

used2bthin · 05/03/2007 21:47

thats a good idea. I have started a class like that and it does help a bit so maybe i could do that at home too. Time a bit of an issue but maybe instead of lying in bed stressing i could learn some to do here? bit of a lack of mtivation thing in the evening too unfortunately but will try.

OP posts:

PavlovtheCat · 05/03/2007 21:48

Do you have any friends or family you get on with that you could invite over for tea/chocolate/DVD every now and then?
Not for the same reasons as you, but I have been very low in the evenings (bereavement) and although I have not this week welcomed the unplanned evening visits initially, they have taken my mind of things for a short while.

Original poster

used2bthin · 05/03/2007 21:50

It may help.DD still up till i go to bed at mo ...but thats another problem! Maybe i'm so tired by evening that everything feels worse. I am just terrified of something going wrong withdd in the night.

OP posts:

millie99 · 05/03/2007 21:52

Have you tried listening to an audio book in bed?

Original poster

used2bthin · 05/03/2007 21:55

pavlovthecat- yes that prob would take my mind off it/ give a lift. Have recently moved out of my parents home too so prob missing the support a bit altho i've been anxious like this since pregnancy so could just be me? Sorry to hear of your bereavement, how are u feeling? I know what u mean aboyut not wanting ppl round initially, i turn down offers of company as feel too low but it helps when they r there.

OP posts:

malaleche · 05/03/2007 21:55

Try herbal valerian (sp?) capsules. I used to take the Kneipp ones (when i wasn't pregnant or bfeeding) They take the edge off without deadening your reactions. Try them during the day tho in case you dont react the way you're meant to...

StrangeTown · 05/03/2007 21:57

Pilates/Yoga is a very good idea. More excercise in general would also help if you can fit it in as the old tale about making you sleep is definitely true.

When I work away I take a lavender pillow spray - somehow the smell becomes associated with sleep and helps. I know it's hard but when I make myself get up 30 mins earlier those horrible late night thoughts whirring around when you are trying to sleep seem to reduce as I am so knackered. Obviously you may have to get up v early as it is...

PavlovtheCat · 05/03/2007 21:59

Used2bthin - lol I am ok hun, ups and downs, but this is your thread!! I think friends and family are important in times of need, as long as you do not feel crowded. I find that sometimes you dont want to talk about things, but its nice to have someone sitting with you just being there in case you do, or so you dont have to.
Is your mum still local?

Original poster

used2bthin · 05/03/2007 22:00

millie, i havent tried audio book but reading sometimes helps as long as i choose the subject VERY wisely. Wish there was something i could take to make it all go away but i know its probably not as easy as that.

OP posts:

PavlovtheCat · 05/03/2007 22:02

aw hun, will a hug help?
{{hug}} here is one for you anyway. I am sorry you are feeling low.

Original poster

used2bthin · 05/03/2007 22:06

ooh will go to look for valerian tomorrow altho i will try and do the exercise too-lazy girl that i am! my mum is about 15 miles away so not too bad altho she doesnt drive. Drove me mad when i lived there as she's actually a worse panicker than me but i seem to miss the help at bed time!

OP posts:

Original poster

used2bthin · 05/03/2007 22:08

thanks! it does help. Today is 1st time i've been brave enough to post on mumsnet and u all seem v nice!

OP posts:

Original poster

used2bthin · 05/03/2007 22:10

got dd chewing my arm and dribbling all over laptop so will hav to go but thanks for all the support and advice, fingers x for some bettwer nights- that goes for u too pavlov xx

OP posts:

PavlovtheCat · 05/03/2007 22:14

How old is your DD? Come back tomorrow and let us know how you are feeling Used, k?

Nikki76 · 05/03/2007 22:16

Hiya thin

Soz to hear you are not feeling so great this evening - where is DP? I get really anxious too with irrational scenarios... I was cooking chicken tonight and getting in a real panic about any germs on the side, even though I anti bac everything after chopping it! I think you are prob good during the day cos you are busy, whereas in the eve when you unwind, that's when your mind starts wandering.....I used to be like that at 3am when at height of PND...would wake up and start stressing immediately and be urging over the sink at thought of another day being a mum and not doing mummyhood right. My worse time is the mornings but its still a horrible feeling isn't it. I also get evenings where I check on DS a lot cos I worry about him..cot death etc....I think its just part and parcel of being a mum - my mum worries about me even now I'm a big (literally!) girl...

I over react a lot - went to DH's mates yesterday and his mate was playing with DS on some inflatable cushion thing they have got and DS slipped cos he wasn't watching him properly and he got a panicked look on his face -he wasn't hurt or anything but that look was enough - I tell you, I totally over reacted! Gave their baby straight back to his mum and picked DS up right away and DH's mate a really you stupid twat look!!

PavlovtheCat · 06/03/2007 13:12

Used - how are you feeling today? How was your night? I hope you are feeling positive today, and that this evening is more positive for you. Please post if you need another hug

Original poster

used2bthin · 06/03/2007 15:37

Hi Pavlov I'm much better today thanks- altho watch this space as i am almost always ok ish in the day. DD is 5months. She kept being sick last night so i kept having to repeat her medicine which didnt help. Thing is its hard to know whats normal worrying for the situation and whats over the top and/or possible PND, i havent felt quite right since pregnancy but obviously taking into account all the stress i've been under perhaps thats normal... so hard to tell! How u feeling?

OP posts:

PavlovtheCat · 06/03/2007 19:51

Are you able to say what the medical condition your DD has? perhaps there may be people here with similar situations, or who can perhaps help you figure out what is normal/might be normal for you to be feeling, and what is/might not be. Of course please do not think I am prying, and you absolutely do not have to say anything you feel uncomfortable talking about, but sometimes it can help, and if you want to, I am happy to listen.
It does sound though that you are under immense pressure. Do you have people who you can talk to, counsellor, a close friend?

Hope you are still feeling ok {{{hugs}}}

strongteabag · 06/03/2007 20:20

Sounds silly but cammomille tea (sp?) really does help me unwind and get me off to sleep in the evening. I know it may be hard but your own bedtime routine helps too.

Original poster

used2bthin · 08/03/2007 21:00

Hi, sorry responding late as went out to cinema last night and to yoga tonight so feeling bit better thanks. Strongteabag- i agree, camomile or chamomile(i'm sure i've seen it spelled both ways)does help. Pavlov i don't mind u asking at all but can't name the condition as its rare enough to mean it'd be dodgy on here to discuss in case theres someone i know etc. There is actually a great support group for it and the last few days i've been e mailing another parent and have decided to go for counselling. Its all been such a shock and i think i've got to the point where i just need "something" extra to get me thru the next stage.

OP posts:

Flip