Embarrassing meltdown

[canijusthave5mins]

Hi, first time poster here.
I have a very happy family life, lovely (ft) job, kind and loving DH & DS but I feel broken, anxious, exhausted, worthless most of the time for the past couple of months.
2 weeks ago I started crying in church, and I couldn't stop for 6 HOURS! I was physically sick and exhausted by the end of it, there was no trigger and I couldn't give any reason why it happened...it was also very humiliating. Since then I haven't slept well and I'm finding it hard to find joy in anything. I've been to the GP, all blood tests coming back normal and I'm healthy. GP offered antidepressants but I don't want them unless last resort.
I think maybe I overstretch my self sometimes with work, volunteering, so I've cut back on some commitments at church, but I feel like I'm letting people down.
I feel like I have no right to feel like this- life is good. Why can't I just snap out of it?
I'm usually such a positive person, why do I feel hopeless? Should I consider ADs?

Depression doesn't care that you have a good life with lots of positive things going on, it doesn't need an obvious reason to strike. And thats the thing with depression you cant just 'snap out of it' because your brain chemistry isout of ballance. Thats where the ADs come in.

ADs saved my life in the past, the first time I resisted going on them for a long time, but I wish I'd started them earlier. I've never let myself get that low again before going back to my GP. They don't necessarily have to be forever. I've been on them three times now. The first 2 for about 18 months and then 10 years without them inbetween. Currently I've been on them 6 months and my GP has said another 6 months minimum.

Other things that can help are exercise (releases your bodys natural ADs) meditation and mindfulness.

I. Could've written this post.I was happily enough going through life CD left home which I was happy about then boom...dizzy spells nausea palpitations fear about driving or walking alone.I missed some work as I love it but can't get myself on the bus sometimes !!! So blooming weird.
Good idea to cut back on commitment s as you will be no use to anyone if you push too hard. I have a weeks sick leave.zI don't know if its a virus or panic attacks as I have a lot of hidden stress like a dying father and grumpy husband.look after yourself x

5Mins,
Not wishing to contradict No Longer, but ....... I have found that when life is good on the outside, god job loving partner etc etc... depression is all the more painful on the inside. Made so becasue you feel (I felt) life is so good there is no reason why I am depressed.

And of course you can have as many five minutes as you need.

Was it the sermon that made you cry? Ours often make me cry. They have a knack for touching those sensitive buttons, it's part of why church is so good for us! Try not to feel bad about yourself because of this. It happens to everyone from time to time. Emotion is never something to be embarrassed about.

I'm assuming you're Christian since you go to church, so I hope it's OK to say that I will include you in my prayers this evening.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers- lots to think about.
I'm starting to feel a bit better, actually slept for 8 hours last night which was a huge help. And I have that Friday feeling for the first time in months....I'm being very mindful ATM and trying to slow down a bit. I have made another GP appointment for a weeks time just in case I need it.
Yes I am Christian and church plays a big part in my life- I've had some lovely calls/emails from other parishioners offering support which is so kind and eye opening.
I'm hoping it's just a temp "wobble" but will keep a close eye on myself!
Thank you again xxx