any ideas?

[WhatInTheWorld76]

There's something wrong with me and I know there is and always has been. I am a walking contradiction - I'm friendly enough but I don't want friends and actively ignore or distance myself from all friends old and new. I hate responsibilities but find myself taking on too much all the time - church, work other clubs and organisations. I'm exhausted just from working. I can barely hold it together at work - I feel like a fraud. I've had hundreds of jobs and haven't cared a fig about any of them. Longest I've stayed somewhere is six months. And that was excruciating. I am on Setraline and I do have learning differences (dyslexia etc) but I can't help but think I'm not depressed I'm actually something else. Any ideas? I'm not just whining about life I'm genuinely concerned that there's something wrong with me but I can't quite put my finger on what or why? I feel like a square peg in a round whole, but I don't know why or how to fix it?! Familiar? Any ideas? I also have cripplingly low self esteem and poor confidence. I want to feel better, but I'm not sure, where to even begin.

I almost could have, particularly about being friendly bit distancing myself from people and lacking confidence.
I was diagnosed with moderate to severe social anxiety and mild depression a couple of years ago and had some CBT which helped. I've learned to let people in a bit more now. Try and ask for help only a specialist really knows for sure x

almost could have written this, I meant!

Thanks for your reply. I was worried it might be Asperger's, ADHD, bipolar etc

Why worry?
Whatever it may be, it is part of you. It doesn't make you a bad person. Asbergic, Manic/depressive or just plane odd, you need to know yourself before you can begin to address your situation.

PS, like others, I could have written that in the past. Now I understand myself for what I am, I can better deal with myself.

You say adhd, aspergers, bipolar. They are very different things. I think you need to read up on each of these diagnosis before thinking you have them. I do mean that in a nice way.

I have read up on it and I have traits of all of those. Particularly ADHD and Asperger's. I'm not writing this after a five minute debate in my head ffs. I can clearly spot traits of these in my personality and it makes life very hard. I do genuinely believe I have something which hadn't been identified yet as I struggle with real life so much its pathetic

only a psychiatrist can diagnose any of those.
so either see a gp and request a psych referral (usually long wait if not in danger /danger to anyone else) or pay to see a private psych ,then you're talking about a week.
btw i also have symptoms of adhd , aspergers and bipolar but have not been diagnosed as having any of them.