wurtz I have a history of depression and ocd. I've never used antidepressants, only cot and counselling.
I had pretty nasty antenatal Depression, and my community midwife was an absolute godsend. She wasn't a MH specialist but really helped me through a tough couple of months in the second trimester. I'd suggest at your booking in appointment, you ask for some MH support- and an appointment with a mental health specialist midwife if your own isn't able to help. In the meantime, see your gp- and please please please keep in mind that you're tackling hormones, MH issues, and the emotional sledgehammer of pregnancy- you are ALLOWED to feel crap. It says NOTHING about you as a mother to be.
I lived my pregnancy terrified of PND or worse-PPP. I was high risk for PND but convinced myself I'd end up psychotic.
I actually only had a single weepy day when my milk came in- and didn't get the baby blues, let alone PND. I did have a wobbly Few OCD days at about 6 weeks PP, but get those now and then regardless of baby or no.
I'm currently lying in front of the fire next to my snoozing DS who is 5months old. In 5 months I've had 2 trips to a&e with DS (random fevers), had his tongue tie separated, had 2 biopsies for possible cancer myself, and dealt with a very postnatally .... Bewildered.... DP. And I've held it together the whole time, even with my history of MH. I've never been happier or more stable.
You might surprise yourself, Wurtz. By all means, see your gp, and see if you can get some talk therapy separate of the midwifery service in the meantime- or ADs if you think you need them- but don't make the mistake I did, and waste your pregnancy worrying about a postnatal nightmare that never happened. Good for you for being proactive so early on- and congrats on your pregnancy !!!!