Overwhelmed and stressed

[user1488276155]

Hi everyone,

This is the first time i've posted in mumsnet...I'm feeling extremely desperste for some real support and also a bit of a rant. I've suffered on and off my whole life with depression, the last bad attack being over 12 months ago. Recently I think I've been slipping back into it but have been in denial for a couple of months.

I started university last September and it was a shock to the system, I was very isolated and struggled to fit in, though this has become much easier and I thoroughly enjoy the learning process, but I have started to lack motivation, despite just receiving a first class mark for semester one.

I do feel quite resentful of the fact that all of the responsibility for my son falls onto me aswell. Of course I love him to peices, he's 3 and has had a lot of issues throughout his short life as he was premature. He gets ill very often and it constantly falls on me to have time off to care for him, it just makes me feel as if what I'm doing is less important. Though I appreciate his step dad has a very important job but his actual father is useless. I don't get any financial support from him and he constantly messes me around with his contact hours. I feel like i don't have the strength to deal with it. He left me in thousands of pounds worth of debt yet I'm still so tolerant of him. It's always my job to go to hospital appointments, dentists, doctors etc etc which I don't mind but maybe I'm feeling overwhelmed at the moment.

I suffer with my own health issues, previously having had two spinal surgeries and a c-section, which has given me nothing but pain for the last 3 years. I'm now due for more surgery to fix the scar tissue issues I have been having, which puts me in bed during my period. I really struggle to lose weight and tone up because of my weak core and no matter what I do I just cannot get slim again. I am terribly conscious of my stomach and I have started to get serious body issues. I recently been begining to even think my partner is not attracted to me anymore.

I don't know what's going on with my head but I'm so low and feel like a pile of crap really. I don't know where to start to help myself get out of this hole. I just want to crawl into a dark place and cry.

Thanks for listening

Ueser,
You are not a number you are a person.. (shades of the prisoner there).

Yes studying is difficult. Indeed it is a very artificial activity. And there are times when you can't concentrate for the love of everything. Being a mum at the same times makes it more difficult. But as a mum, caring for your child is the most important thing you have to do. After all you carried him inside you for nine months. Being a mum is just very hard work. (but no one tells you that before hand). DS is very precious and you are very fortunate to have fond a step dad who will support you and DS in some way.

As to the way forward recognising you are in a hole is one of the first steps to getting out. Please keep posting

Hi, have you got any support from your GP? If they are not already involved that would be the first port of call.

University can be tough and they do recognise that people often struggle. Most unis have free councelling available through student services. Also talk to your personal tutor about how you are feeling. They may be able to suggest things to make things easier. They can also take depression into account with things like deadlines. I suffered with depression throughout my final year at uni and was given an extension onmy disertation and my GP wrote a letter to the exam board to be taken into consideration when they graded me.

And congratulations on the first so far thats a huge achievement with everything else going on.

I'm sorry that you are struggling, it's not surprising with how much you are juggling, one person can only take so much. I would second speaking to your GP

Thank you everybody for the advice, it's made me feel much better. I will definately get the GP involved and speak to my tutor xx