Is it a psychotherapist I need? Cbt was nearly useless

[LyrasOmlette]

I've been struggling with depression, mostly since having kids (now aged 4 & 5) but I've realised that I've had issues for a long time even before kids.

I had a few sessions of CBT last year but was put off by how the process ignores the causes of depression & anxiety. I feel that I really need a different approach, talking with someone about things that have happened that affect my mental health, my parenting, etc. Working through all the crap I've experienced.

So should I be looking for a psychotherapist?

Willing to pay privately.

Any recommendations for therapists in north or central London would be appreciated.

I've never had cbt, but found councelling very helpful for depression in the past in combination with ADs.

I found cbt useless too. I saw Neil Lamont in London Bridge. He is amazing.

Thank you!

I've been leaning towards finding a female therapist, but that may be because I really didn't like the guy I did my first sessions of CBT -- found him difficult to talk to, and a bit abrasive. But I'll look Neil Lamont up.

I don't have a high opinion of CBT either.

I think that whetever type of therapy you have good raport with the therapist is so important. You really need to trust them for a theraputic relationship to work .

what about a good counsellor? i work alongside an excellent counsellor who has a private practice..not sure where her practice is but could try to find out?

I was suicidal and had severe depression. I started therapy twice a week a month ago. It was something that i had tried before when I was younger but I never found helpful to be honest and the main thing is found why was the connection you have with your therapist. I found mine on:

www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/

I sent a very frank and brief outline of the main issues I was struggling with. My advice would be don't be afraid to ask questions or to message more than one at a time. There are a lot of different types of therapy. My deciding factor was just based on the way my therapist responded back to my original message. It really hasn't been easy but today I left feeling good. It's just about helping you get better.

I found CBT frustrating and not relevant.

What cured my persistent depression was getting the Mirena coil removed.

Do check your hormonal contraception if you take it. I've thought of myself as someone who suffered from depression all my life. But it was mostly a reaction to pill/coil.

But yes psychotherapy is pretty good IME.

I agree with you about hormones panda! I'm at that age where not menopausal but things are definitely changing (every morning I find another chin hair 😂😂) but they won't do anything as my periods are still regular. Anxiety levels up mood swings and low mood but all fluctuate over the month. I had pms, polycystic and PND but the impact hormones have is largely ignored. To me it seems blatantly obvious!!! Some people would say that the cause of the anxiety / depression is actually irrelevant and by going over and over you're picking at a scab. It's handling managing and recovery that matters which I suppose is where CBT comes in. I think it's what suits you.

Thanks again. I'm not on hormonal contraceptives, so that's not an issue but it's a great point for those who may be.

Jayfee I'm not sure what the difference between a counsellor and pyschotherapist is. A quick google seems to suggest that counsellor's work on a shorter-term basis? But are they trained in psychotherapy/other therapeutic approaches?

As for CBT, I found most of their suggestions common-sensical and I can see how it might be helpful if you are really able to carve out the time. But with two little kids and barely enough head space to get through the day, it was just one of the things I could never get to. I don't think it's practical for me at this point in time. But an appointment that obligates me to leave the house and talk to someone neutral, that I could manage, I think.

I've tried CBT and DBT, the latter I found to be slightly less rubbish.

Have you had a look at CAT? It's a combination of cbt and psychoanalytic therapy. I finished it 2 years ago and I can honestly say it changed my life x

CAT changed my life too. I still see my therapist for top up sessions, although those are coming to an end soon. I can honestly say I'm a different person to when i started!

What is cat and dbt?

DBT is Dialectical behaviour therapy. I have suspected Borderline Personality Disorder and it's supposed to be particularly useful for this disorder.

On the MIND website it says 'DBT also helps you to change unhelpful behaviours, but it differs from CBT in that it also focuses on accepting who you are at the same time. DBT places particular importance on the relationship between you and your therapist, and this relationship is used to actively motivate you to change.'

I suppose that's true, I really like my therapist. So much so that I can't tell her that I don't think it's working!

I've had 3 lots of CBT. None of it worked. I like the approach about challenging your thinking, but it made no difference to my depression/anxiety.

CAT - cognitive analytic therapy. It's particularly useful for people with a history of trauma that find relationships (all kinds) difficult due to traps they fall in because of past trauma.