Feeling Rubbbbish, but too scared to take meds!

[Saloire]

Hi Guys,
Really struggling at the mo, and have done for past five years on and off if I'm honest. I think I really should be on meds, but very very very extremely scared of taking them in case they make me worse. I'm also pregnant, due in 7 weeks, and petrified I might harm the baby. I've had counselling and CBT in past, and both have been brilliant, but I'm still plagued by insomnia and anxiety, which just won't shift. Any advice/reassurance would be amazing. I think I've left this untreated for long enough xxx

Hi Solaire. I'm so sorry you're feeling so awful. Anxiety and depression are just awful.

Please go and see your GP. What makes you think taking meds will make you worse? I've taken anti-d's for many years now for anxiety. At my worst I literally thought I was going mad and couldn't think clearly about anything. I found everything terribly bleak and frightening. My mind was a huge soup. Maybe I was lucky but after a few weeks of anti-ds I began to feel 'normal'. Not doped up, not tranquillised - but normal. I could still feel sad about stuff but i could also be happy,

About 12 months I came off thx meds as I felt better. However gradually over the next 12 months the anxiety returned. I went back on the pills on a vey low dose.

Your GP will help you. Any meds they give you will not harm your baby. Please go and ask for help. It can get better.

Well done for realising/accepting that you're struggling and for asking for help - that's half the battle I think.

Pregnancy, birth and the early months can be a time when maternal mental health can really deteriorate, underlying issues can be exacerbated. But for a little reassurance, even very unwell mothers rarely harm their babies. Did you see the documentary last year 'My Baby, Psychosis and Me'? It was on BBC so sadly not available to watch online AFAIK, but it really showed that even in the depths of the darkest depression mothers can use their last bit of strength to care for their babies when they can't even look after themselves.

I second oklumberjack and say please talk to your GP, or midwife. Tell them what you wrote here - you are struggling, you want help, you're worried about medication. They can refer you to your perinatal mental health team. You can discuss your specific worries about medication with them.

Keep posting here too if it helps, I know it helps me to talk to other people with MH worries

Thx so much guys. I will chat to GP. When i said harm the baby, i meant by taking meds. Nevertheless, I did watch the documentary and thx for the reassurance 😍 Xx

Seven weeks to go, baby is now simply getting bigger. All the important things like forming organs happened weeks ago. So if you take meds now they will be passed on in pretty much the same as if you are breast feeding.

As to insomnia, ... you are pregnant and by now rather "round". Sleeping gets difficult. With tiredness comes fatigue and anxeity. Unfortunately, the tiredness bit won't be solved in seven weeks... It might just get worse for about 18 years ..

Speak to your GP as others have suggested.