Private mental health help? where to start

[JordanC9]

Hi
I am 20, have two children and I think I am bipolar (my father and his father and his sister are bipolar diagnosed) I wont bore anyone with my symptoms but it is getting really bad now and currently thinking im in a major depressive state, self harming badly. I went to the doctors for this last year, the doctor spoke to me about bipolar and referred me for an assessment. So the assessment came and I with held most of the truth (I was scared about the opinion of the doctor which was stupid I know) I told them I never had feelings of suicide, never self harmed, never acted manic etc, all complete lies. So they discharged me on the same anti-d I was on and concluded a diagnosis of moderate depression (which I do not believe as some times I am so happy) They also spoke about me having BPD but said I am too successful to have this (I have two kids and go to uni in my final year studying full-time) I didn't mention the fact I have lots and lots of support with my kids and barely even go to uni, will end up having to retake this year as I did last year.

My life is just a complete mess at the moment. I don't have any family apart from my auntie and uncle who are amazing and practically my mum and dad. My dad was an alcoholic and my mum was faced with the choice by social services when I was 12 of leaving my dad or giving up custody of me and my brother. She gave up custody and we went to live with my aunt and uncle, without them I don't know where I would be now but it wouldn't be good. My children are in childcare 4 days a week and my son stays at my aunties 2/3 days a week as I just can not cope with being a mother.

I just want to lie in a dark room and cry, I cant be the mother they deserve in this state of mind. I have been in my room now alone for 3 days, my auntie has dropped and picked the kids up from childcare, took them back to hers cooked tea etc then dropped them back once it was their bed time. I have had thoughts of suicide, have began self harming again. I am scared I will loose control and end it, I hate being like this. If all this is is "moderate depression" and I am otherwise sane, then I don't want to be here.

My daughters father is aware of how I feel and he wants me to get better for their sake's because I can't care for them properly like this. He is adamant that I need to try everything to get better and when I pass off going to the docs etc he gets very annoyed. We are not together but have a good relationship for our daughters sake. He works away (in Austria) and has a very very good income.

He has offered to pay for me to have private help/treatment so it is faster for me. Where do I start? Can I pay for a private diagnosis? Hospital stay? (I feel I need one)

I know a friend with BPD had treatment including a residential stay at the priory clinic. I don't have any personal experience of the place, so I can't tell you any more about what it is like, but hope that may give you at least one option.

I think your first action should be to get an emergency appointment with your gp and tell them that you have had suicidal thoughts and are self-harming.

If you find it hard to talk to them, just show them your post above.

If you do then want to find someone privately, you could ask at your gp surgery or just look online?

Go to your gp and ask to be referred to a private psychiatrist. They can then organist correct treatment.

Fwiw I went this route to the priory it is s phenomenal amount of money though so would make sure your girls dad knows and can afford.

Hope you feel better soon

Thankyou for your replies. I am going to search online. My daughters dad is a footballer so I don't think he has an upper limit in mind, which I am so grateful for.

I would go to your NHS team to get diagnosis and initial care plan, and medication if recommended. You can always use the money/help to have ongoing therapy (see BABCP find a therapist webpages for accredited people). You would be looking at £200 + for each half hour consult with a Priory consultant, I believe, more for the initial assessment and obviously an awful lot more for an in-patient stay (although this would not necessarily be indicated). And a lot of private set ups can't offer everything you might need. Or you could pay to get practical help such as employing a mother's help or similar. Be honest with whoever you see about any struggles with caring for your children - they can help you with your parenting and any support you need. Good luck.

Cross posted - that's great, good luck with finding some help.

www.nightingalehospital.co.uk

If you can pay, you are in a fortunate position. This is the place I use. They are amazing. It's expensive though.

That's good news Jordan just wanted you to be aware.

I had 3 months of 2-3 days a week and know it cost my insurance 10k

I have had both nhs and private (priory). TBH I am currently finding nhs better for the crisis stuff I need but then it is also postcode lottery and some places I have got nothing. Priory are good for less critical care but I would second the person that says go to your gp and be honest about the self harm and suicidality to get an NHS diagnosis.
The bit about not being bpd (assume you mean borderline) because you are 'too succesful' is nonsense btw; I am diagnosed borderline and am 'succesful' too. The misconceptions of borderline are slowly changing but it is taking time.
DBT (not sure if available privately) is supposed to be good for bpd as is mindfulness which the Priory did well.