Bipolar Disorder Assessment

[LittleMissPassiveAggressive]

Hi,

I've never posted on here and am a bit nervous about doing so, knowing that the web can see my thoughts, but my days, here I go!
I have been battling depression, anxiety, depersonalisation disorder and a very non-specific "borderline personality disorder" for around 14 years now. Things have been up and down, as they generally are for many.
I have been asked to attend an appointment with my GP, CPN and psychiatrist to assess me for bipolar disorder.
Now, I'm scared about going in the first place because I don't want to be told that I have it. Although it won't change me as a person, it terrifies me to think that this could be the reason why I am as I am.
I'm already on high doses of Sertraline and Pregabelin for my MAADDs, what would this potentially mean for my meds?
I know I'm thinking way too far into this, but I'm genuinely flapping and wanted to know if anybody else out there has ever been through something like this?

Thanks for reading

Also, I'd like to add that I have been under psychiatric care and the local Mental Health Team for some years, this isn't a case of "let's just do the assessment for droppings and chuckles". I know that there is a lot more to it than one quick appointment.

Hey .. If they do decide you are manic depressive.. (I much prefer that to bi polar disorder .. also not to be confused with b order personality disorder).. welcome to the club!!

We are some of the most creative and inspirational people around. Lie him or loath him Stephen Fry is larger than life as was Spike Miligan and Ruby Wax. George III is suspect of being a fellow fruitcake and Churchill knew his black dog days all to well. In fact the list is almost endless.

Yes it can be shitty, especially on a downer. Many people don't know how to deal with us... Well that's their loss. We are good people.. albeit sometime a bit over the top and occasionally a pain in the arse.

As to meds, the medics should try and alter your management. I now take Valproate Semi Sodium and quite like it. Well that's not quite true, more like it has the least undesirable side effects but I can live with myself when taking it.

As you say it won't change you as a person, they are just words. It might not even mean a change in meds, as psychiatric meds are often given to manage symptoms rather than diagnoses. It might give you and th MH team more insights in how to manage your condition or it might not. It probably won't change things hugely.

It didn't change me to have a diagnosis...
But it did help me to understand who I am and why I am the way I am.

In the end I have come to love myself exactly the way I am.

Thank you all for your replies.
I don't think it would change me as such, and if it is the case I think it would be a bit of closure, it'd explain a lot of aspects of my life.
I don't love myself. I have a very hard time seeing myself in a positive light. Any part of myself. I have very low self esteem and no confidence at all. I know that I need to work on that too.
Sorry, I've wandered off on a tangent.
I guess time will tell and what will be will be.
Thank you all again

Has anyone suggested to you a therapy called DBT?

Surely its better to have a correct diagnosis than a vague suspicion? I've got a couple of people with bi polar in my close circle, so although I've not been through it I've seen it / lived with it. The right meds make a huuuge difference (as do the wrong ones, but in a less positive way). Can you reframe it as getting to know yourself in a different way?

I've been waiting for almost 4 years for CBT, but not offered DBT. Every time I mention it to my CPN she just tells me that she will look into it.
I fee quite fobbed off to be honest.

Ask if the referral was done, when it was done and what the waiting list is. Ask for the number to psychological services so you can ask them yourself.