Maybe it won't be ok!

[drunkathousandtimes]

Everyone is so positive and I think I'm losing control of my anxiety. I've had a difficult year last year and in theory an out of the blue job offer is an amazing start to the new year. But I don't feel ready. I'm going to do it and I will try my absolute best. But right now I'm terrified.

I need someone to acknowledge it might not be ok. I think no one getting my fear is making me feel worse instead of more confident.

I know - I really do know - how negative this is. I feel terrible to be so negative and I will find a way through but right now I feel like I do. I really hope someone gets it.

You sound more realistic than anything tbh. Yes its all well and good being relentlessly positive but personally i think there's no harm whatsoever in a bit of a risk assessment - in the way people mean when they say Hope for the best but expect the worst. Of course being positive and hopeful is important but i believe its equally important to not be blind to the possibility of failure. You might find comfort in thinking to yourself What's the worst that can happen, literally, and form a plan for just that very thing.

Yes your job might not work out, but you're doing great by approaching it with positivity. However if it does go tits up you need to not be crushed by it and so the very realistic acceptance that its a possibility will save you a lot of trouble I think.

The problem with anxiety i think is the endless mulling over all the things that can go wrong. So if you've thought about them already and have realised that it wont be so bad after all, you can kind of leave those thoughts alone for a while.

That's what i do. However I'm not neurotypical so it might not make sense to anyone else. But to answer your question, yes i do get it. But go for it anyway, chances are it will be wonderful and make a big difference to you! Good luck.

That's a really helpful reply thank you. I feel like I have to sound cheerful and am unable to justify my fear. I might go away and write down what happens if it doesn't work out. Because actually, just having a quick think of the implications, I'd survive them all. of course I would.

I think it might still remain scary but I can re read when it gets out of hand.

Of how I wish I could fast forward a few months.

Thank you IAmcuriousyellow.