you're not being silly. it's a scary thing to make huge disclosures, especially when you don't have a pre existing relationship with the assessors or your local MH service.
rest assured that it is far more likely you will be shoved to the bottom of a very large pile than it is that the men in white coats will come round. social services would not be visiting you in years to come about this, they can't keep up with cases where there is a history of actual abuse (i'm not social worker bashing, they are mammothly under funded and under staffed).
what you have described sounds like 'intrusive thoughts'. these are a type of ocd - they just pop up in glorious detail and often invoke a full on physiological reaction to their content. they really can be incredibly disturbing, vivid and horrifying.
generally speaking we are highly unlikely to act out these thoughts and they do not mean we have an inner child murderer trying to escape.
but it is completely rational to feel as though you do when you have no idea wtf is going on in your brain!
you can understand why people might think god or demons are inside their brains if they have no access to other explanations cos history/society/education etc etc
with the right support and guidance (and sometimes medication) they can often be minimised and lived with more comfortably
cbt can be incredibly helpful as you can learn to get rid of them or quell their noise in a variety of ways. i sometimes use mental imagery of batting the thought away with a tennis raquet, or i might laugh and tell it to fuck off or set dragons on it lol. there are all sorts of techniques you can try, have a look at MIND's site or something similar for ideas and good quality links.
sometimes they are manifestations of other 'disorders' (i'm not keen on using the word illness or disorder with mh). i experienced them for decades on and off and the most horrifyingly realistic nightmares (probably linked neurologically) and i was diagnosed with bipolar, aspergers and dyspraxia a few years' back.
don't panic though as often it is a manifestation of chronic and acute stress
my paychiatrist said it is a very common thing and that it's quite interesting that our brains choose to torture us with our very worst fears.
without dwelling on the thoughts in detail maybe have a think about your emotional responses. do you feel scared, unable to control the thoughts, terrified thoughts will progress to action? what overwhelming emotion do they invokr?
what makes you feel like that in 'real life'? is there anything, however small, you can do about those things?
i found that just discovering what they were was very helpful as it removed their power and mystery.
my life used to feel very out of control and i just could not see any way of changing it or improving it. i used to be so scared all the time about money and rent and how was i going to provide for my children and a million other massive fears. and those times are when i get intrusive thoughts and extremely vivid nightmares.
be kind to yourself and rest assured that you are not a psycho in waiting. if you were then the thoughts would not worry and disturb you in the way they do 🙂
sorry for epic post lol