Post natal depression - again!!

[Flowerydems]

I knew it was going to happen as I started on sertraline around week 30 of my pregnancy and had to up my dose as soon as the baby was born at the request of my mh nurse.

But it's worse than I thought it would be even with the cushion of the meds. It's every little thing and I'm already exhausted and lo is only 3 days old.

What if she gets sick, what if it's jaundice, she's not drinking as much, she seems tired, is she pooping enough and on and on it goes but I don't think like a normal person, every change is life threatening and I'm worried she'll be dead every time I walk into the room.

I had an elcs so I'm exhausted and sore and I know I should be resting more than I am, dh has been wonderful has taken the last 2 night feeds so I can sleep and try to calm but then I got warned about sepsis by my midwife so this is the latest fixation.

I know it's all silly and I know my brain is looking for issues as it won't just let me enjoy me lo like I want and I really do, but I can't.

Anyone have any ideas to help me find focus until Monday? I have an appt with the mh nurse then

I'm sorry to see no-one has replied to you. Are you still on this thread and how are you feeling?

Hello, I'm sorry to hear your going through this.

I had extremely bad postnatal depression when my little one was born, it started when he was 2 months old after me and his daddy split up. - My thoughts were triggered by the break up of our relationship.

I had horrible thoughts all the time about bad stuff happening, like what if someone's breaks into the house and takes him, what if I let go off his pushchair and he goes into the road, what if I drop him when I'm carrying him.. It was horrible, I felt like a terrible mum for having these thoughts, I was so depressed and down about it.

Anyway I went to my GP and they refereed me for counclilng, they helped me to manage my thoughts, every time I had a bad thought I'd tell me self 'it's just a thought and it's not going to happen' they also put me on anxiety and depression medication. My thoughts have got a lot better and I don't tend to have them that much anymore.. And if I do I can manage them!

Things will definitely get better for you!
If your midwife/health advisor recommends counclilng I'd definitely go!
Xxx

Hey thanks for your responses. Having a low night with my scar hurting from my section but I've been a bit better.

I've been seeing a counsellor for a while now and I have gotten a bit better from it but still panicking quite a lot.

Dd is constipated so in my head this is life threatening (I know really it's far from it) but the story of the 7yo girl being stabbed seemed to trigger a panic that my son will get attacked and worrying he'll go off with strangers etc

Heads just such a mess

Is they something that has triggered all these thoughts? Like mine were triggered by the break down of my relationship?? Xx

I don't know to be honest. I tend to get really bad when I'm content and there's nothing to really worry about if that makes any sense at all. Like I'm worried about being happy in case something happens so I sit and think the worst so I can be prepared.

I feel like I almost distance myself from my kids in case I lose them sometimes and it makes me so sad. I love them so much and there's no reason to worry but I still do

I know exactly what you mean, try and not to distance yourself though because your an amazing mummy! Sometimes I think worrying all the time shows your a good mum! Cause you care about them so much and love them so much and just want to protect them! Don't distance yourself from them, there your babies and love you & wouldn't want to feel 'distance from there mummy'
Things will get easier xxx

Thanks. So glad someone else understands, think I'm just having a wobble the past couple of days with being tired. I can't shake stupid thoughts and I'm determined an old friend is going to send me abusive messages as I made an excuse not to see her, feeling so down with it