I feel like I am losing it tonight.
I have previously self harmed and feel like I am back there. I have no outlet for the anger and the pain I am feeling. It feels like there is this rot inside me that will never, ever go away. I feel like I will always be damaged and self destructive. Nothing that I do, all the self improvement and planning and organising doesn't seem to change how I feel inside.
I don't know how to get past this. I genuinely think I may do something stupid tonight. I don't know who to reach out to or how to open out and admit that something is wrong with me.