Feel so sad

[thesleepystorm]

Just ranting really. Always suffered from depression on and off. Had medication, cbt etc, nothing's really ever helped. Been on mat leave so am fat, no conversation about anything but my baby, poor etc. Go back to work end Feb but feel sad about that too - don't want to leave my baby and scared about terrorism as I work in a popular London tourist location.

Just...feel sad. Have showered and put on make up but cba to get dressed, wash up, nothing. Just want to cry.

Sounds as if you're really struggling.Do you think it might be worth going back to your GP? There's a strong possibility that you need your dosage changing or switching to another AD.

I'm not on medication, I took various pills for years and they just made me feel worse and/or numb so I stopped

It's entirely up to you whether you wish to give AD's another go but if I was feeling as awful as you are then I would.I reluctantly went back on them last year so can appreciate your apprehension.
Is it worth speaking to your HV?
The anxiety sounds crippling,but if you want to try a natural way to deal with that maybe give rescue remedy a try.
Also is it worth asking to have your thread moved to Mental Health as you're likely to receive more traffic there and from people who have personal experience with this illness.

Thank you I have asked for it to be moved

Bumping for you!