Depression, one day at a time- anyone else?

[onedaymoor]

I have posted elsewhere, but namechanged as I was feeling that I had posted too much identifying info under my last name. I've seen a lot of threads recently about people struggling with depression/anxiety, seems as though this time of year feels particularly brutal for some. I wondered if anyone was up for a support/handholding thread?

I've been off ADs since the summer, but I have known I've been slipping down again for a while. Christmas was great, but since then I've completely crashed and am probably at about the worst I've been. I have no motivation or desire to get better but I know I need to try for my kids' sake. Had a long chat with DH today and told him how I feel and agreed to take it one day at a time. I have a month's supply of sertraline from last time, so will start back on that and I have also made a GP appointment, though not sure that they can be much help. Right now I'm just trying to distract myself from the negative thoughts and get through bit by bit.

Thank you Panda. I have to ring tomorrow morning as we can't book appointments in advance at my surgery unless it's for something like vaccinations or midwife appointments and similar.

Hoping I don't chicken out. If I could I would get dp to ring in my behalf but he will be at work in the morning. I am kind of nervous but also sort of relieved to be finally tackling this. I'm sure it won't be as scary as I imagine it will be.

Hi everyone.

I posted on another thread yesterday about anxiety and the vile side effects from Setraline.

I just wanted to suggest that a magnesium supplement may help to alleviate the symptoms of anxiety for some of you. I take Doctors Best high absorption magnesium and St Johns Wort. I have found them incredibly effective, so it may be worth a try

Take care not to take St. John's wort at the same time as other anti depressants though. I've been taking duloxetine for axeeek now and I have to say my anxiety had definitely improved. I've suffered minimal side effects so I'm pleased I was brave and took it! It's always hard to take that first dose. I've also been referred for counselling-six month wait but at least I'm on the list now. Best wishes to everyone here-it's such a hideous illness.

Delete-when I was at my worst I wrote a list of symptoms/problems for my gp. I just used to hand it to her and sob! She was lovely and I came through it.

Delete well done for making that appointment. Yes write down your symptoms (bullet points) include everything and either hand it to the GP or use it as an aide memoir. A lot of us burst into tears once we see the GP and that's fine. Remember that you won't be telling the GP anything he/she hasn't heard dozens, even hundreds of times before. Around one third of all GP consultations are mental health related and one in 4 people will suffer from a MH problem at some point in their lives.

Oh just realised you haven't made the appointment yet. The only thing I'd say is this week is going to be hugely busy in any GP surgery and I'd be surprised if you got an appt for Friday (depends on your surgery I suppose) but there would be no chance with mine.

It might be an idea to make a double appointment if that's on offer at your surgery because they are usually times at 10 min intervals. You will probably be offered anti-depressants - these drugs are very safe and can be very effective BUT it's not like taking paracetomol for headache, they can take 2 to 3 weeks to kick in and you may have side effects. PLEASE don't take notice of the huge list of side effects included in the packs of AD (the drug companies put them in to cover their back) - sometimes the dose has to be adjusted and sometimes you might need to try another AD if the first one doesn't work. It's a puzzle really because they act differently on different people and what suits one might not suit another.

The other thing is you might be offered counselling - usually CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) but there is usually a waiting list. Many people find it helpful, but it wasn't helpful for me.

I notice you say "I feel like I'm letting everyone down and making other people's lives a misery" and I know exactly what you mean. We don't feel like that if we have a physical illness but for some reason it's different with a mental illness. When mine hits I am always saying I feel ashamed and guilty. My CPN says it's a symptom of depression so as well as making us feel like shit, it makes us think it's our fault. Great!

I've just noticed that you say you've been unwell with depression and anxiety for most of my life. Have you any idea what triggered this. Loss of some kind is usually at the root of depression.

Thanks for the supportive replies, I've taken everything on board. I am feeling quite anxious tonight about the prospect of tomorrow. I hope I can get an appointment, will try and ring as soon as they open at 8am so fingers crossed. Knowing dp will be with me even if he doesn't say or do anything is helping me get over the fear a bit.

I can't really put my finger on when exactly it started. But I do know I've always had low self esteem and lack of confidence so maybe that's where it stems from?

I'm going to start writing down some bullet points now. I went out for dinner with a friend tonight and we had a laugh so I'm feeling quite upbeat, it's times like this where I feel like a bit of a fraud - as it doesn't fit the stereotype of someone with depression. But I think it's normal to have depression and still have good days and moments where the dark cloud lifts a bit, isn't it? It's almost like I'm willing myself to be upset tomorrow because if I'm not the gp won't believe me. I'm being ridiculous aren't I?

Forgot to say as well I am open to trying CBT but I'm not sure if it would work for me. I'm willing to try anything that might possibly help me get better though.

Sorry for the triple post but I managed to get an appointment for 3pm this afternoon.

Well done. Make your list. Let us know how you get on if you want to.

Thank you

I went to my gp yesterday and was told to keep going with the matrazapine as I have only been on it for 4 weeks, I have had a few good ish days but then yesterday something set me back a little and I'm feeling rubbish again. Some of the tasks I have set myself ( re join the gym, start waking the dog again ) I have not been able to do, I had one day where I did the house work, chucked ex's last few things out and did a food shop, but now I feel like I can't motivate myself. Hopefully the good days will become more and the bad days less but at the moment there are more bad days than good.

Good luck with your medication Lovemusic, hopefully you turn a corner soon.

I'm mortified because a meter reader knocked the door and had to walk through what I can only describe as a complete shit tip to read the meters. Mil will be coming later to get the dc too. I hate having a messy house but I just can't seem to move and get it sorted which in turn is affecting my mood. It's such a vicious cycle

My appointment went well, the GP was lovely which was a relief, I cried but also felt relieved that I was finally seeking help. It wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be. I've been prescribed 50mg of sertraline and have to go back in 2 weeks for a review. Also got a number for some people I can talk to.

Thanks everyone for your support. It means a lot.

Well done. It's hard.

Well done and glad you got a nice GP - that makes a difference. Sertraline is the AD that the NICE guidelines recommend so I thought that's what you would have to start. Can I just say that you might not experience any benefit at first as they take a while to kick in and 50mg is a very low dose - my CPN says it's a "trial dose" to see if you're going to have any side effects. Glad you have a 2 week follow on appointment and the dose might then be increased, which is a therapeutic dose. On the other hand you might be lucky and start to feel better quite soon. BUT please keep taking them even if you have side effects because they almost always subside after the first few weeks.

Keep us posted.