Time to change

[MissStressBum]

Hi all. Been very low for ages now and in a stupid, hysterical state I harmed myself quite badly last night. I really didn't realise it was quite so bad and was very shocked. I had to go to A&E.

I'm late twenties and live with parents. I was encouraged to tell them what happened and unfortunately my dad asked me to leave. My mum is very upset and stuck up for me.

Following hurting myself I am extremely shocked and determined to change. I'm now afraid I can't go home however and have ruined my relationship with my family as well as hurt them deeply.

Just looking for advice on how to fix it really. I am currently staying with my boyfriend so I won't be homeless.

I feel awful guilt and shame but I'm determined to never let myself do that again. The more I told my dad these things the angrier he got, resulting in him telling me to do it again and that I'm selfish as well as mocking me.

Hope someone who has experienced something similar can advise. I hope to delete this thread soon in case identified so hope someone can talk.

Your dad asked you to leave because you self harmed and nearly killed yourself.. (guessing that from ending up in A&E)...

Men can be so stupid.

At least your mum stood by you. She probably knows more of your dad than you do. She will probably be able to recognise the triggers that set you on a course to self harm and hopefully will be well placed to help you.

Don't feel guilty , you are ill it's not your fault

Your dad mocking you is different to him just being upset, could it be his behaviour has contributed over the years to how you feel? Maybe putting some distance between you will be a good thing

Thank you for replying.

Lilaclily - I think to an extent his way of dealing (or not) with emotionally difficult things makes it hard to get past them. He can't understand why I feel the way I do, he has lost a close friend to cancer this year and doesn't classify mental illness as valid. I've had breakdowns in the past and he brought them up yesterday as times where I like to make everything about me. Not really helpful at all. I agree distance is a good idea. I've been trying to save to move out for a long time, think I just need to bite the bullet there.

Itsnoteasy - my mum is being very supportive. It's hard not to feel guilty about that, but I know that's not a helpful way to think and I will just be grateful she's there for me and do my best to make positive changes.

Just can't believe the situation really. I've been told I can come home but I'm a bit apprehensive about that!

to you. Is your GP involved? Have you got any MH support in place? If notvtalking to your GP is the first step in getting you the support that you need.

Hi Anxious

No - no MH involvement currently. There have been low level interventions in the past but nothing that ever really hit the spot support wise. Although, this is undoubtedly not going to get better considering funding for these services in the NHS. I'm very determined that the change has to come from me and I will accept any support from any source to make it happen. I was asked if I wanted to see the psychiatric nurse when I went to A&E but I declined, as I just wanted to get home at that point.

I will be trying to get an urgent GP appointment on Tuesday when they open again. I feel really nervous asking for an urgent appointment, but surely this constitutes that? Otherwise i won't be seen until mid-end Jan.

I am supposed to go back to work Tuesday as well. Gulp. Quite high pressured environment lately.

Thank you for replying!