Help

[Orientalrose]

I seem to have withdrawn from everything and everybody. I'm now invisible literally nobody talks to me or notices me. Even my family are too busy to help or acknowledge me. I'm married with 3 small children. It was my birthday this week husband on business trip. My mum can't babysit too busy. My husband went out today Xmas shopping whilst I cleaned the house. As my mum can't help he is taking oldest 2 to Star Wars tomorrow whilst I stay home with toddler. I didn't even go to work Xmas do, I worked that night instead.
If I stand on the motorway bridge will anyone even notice me? I'm guessing not. I asked for help from GP but they were too busy told me to go back anouther time. Smiled and said you know how it is (I'm a medic), I couldn't get an appointment for 2 weeks and felt like a time waster so didn't bother.
I look like I'm ok presentable everything done on time, hold down high pressure professional job no sickness etc. I'm dead inside. I can't even talk to school gate mums now. What do I do ? How do I get help? I could walk out tonight and just keep going. My family wouldn't notice.

They would notice, Orientalrose, they really would.

Hopefully, this will bump your thread and someone better qualified than me will be able to help.

www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

Bumping again

If I stand on the motorway bridge will anyone even notice me? I'm guessing not.
They would. You would be surrounded by police and taken for a MH assessment. Which believe me isn't fun.
Can you see a different GP? If you feel you can't wait that long, there might be a MH crisis line in your area, you can go to an OOH clinic, or if you feel at immediate risk you can go to A&E.
I'm sorry, I have felt similar but it does pass

Oriental alot of us have been where you are now so can understand your pain.They would notice believe me.
This is the illness talking.
Please get yourself to the GP on Monday & insist that this is an emergeny,it is!
Keep posting

Don't let your GP make you wait. This is urgent and you deserve to be seen as soon as possible.

It's so hard to imagine things will ever be ok when you feel the way you do but it will get better.

In the meanwhile, can you tell DH how you are feeling. Or you mum?

I'm sure you are so valued by your family but you need to be reminded.

You sound like a classic coper - everything calm seeming on the surface but masses going on underneath. You really need to tell an understanding GP how you are feeling before something cracks. We used to say that when we smile and reply "I'm fine", the "fine" = fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional -apologies as these may not apply to you but you sound as if you're on auto pilot.
See a different GP. Make yourself heard.

Just wanted to say I am also a medic and have done / still do feel this way. I had to take a break from work as my ability to 'care' was slipping.
Speaking to the GP was the hardest thing I ever had to do, as medics we are supposed to just cope and get on with it. But we are not robots, my advice would be to speak to a different GP and just leave your 'medic' hat at the door.

Feel free to PM me as I really can relate and would be more than happy to lend a helping ear.

It sounds like you need to stamp your feet and get heard. If you feel like you are at risk of hurting yourself go to A&E or contact crisis team (the number should be available online or through the hospital switchboard. I also work for NHS (not a medic) and have found occi health amazing. I have had councelling through them several times. This time I self refered to the councellor and she refered on to the psychologist who I am seeing now. I've also noticed a phoneline advertised for medics who are struggling with stress, not sure if its national or local.

Definately consider going off sick. My concentration was very poor before I went off and I'd started to make mistakes, although I'd not realised how bad things were till I went in one morning and couldn't operate the computer system I've used for years.