I really struggle at this time of year.

[BlueBobBingaLing]

I don't think I have SAD, maybe I do to an extent, but I don't think that's the entire problem. I have had a lot of bad experiences in the past that occurred during Christmas and New Year, but I'm not thinking about them. I used to dwell but I don't anymore. So why do I get like this?

I am a sahm to my 2 year old dd. She is safe, fed, clean and so on, but I don't want to leave the house and generally am struggling to interact with her. I do take her out to three activities a week. Aside from that I have been moping around the house, rarely bothering to dress. I have just been leaving her to watch television while I sit alone. She is watching so much television and I feel incredibly guilty about that. Normally we are out doing stuff every day. Now I can hardly motivate myself to eat or wash. Dp doesn't realise how bad it is. I don't know what to do. I don't want dd's christmas memories to be of her mother zoning off into the distance and not doing anything. But I cant snap myself out of it. I just feel so lethargic and low and tired and want to be alone all the time.

I used to be on sertraline and quietiapine but still felt the same at this time of year. I have tried one of those SAD lamps which made no difference and I take vitamin d supplements every day. What can I do?

I hate this time of year too for the same reasons that you do. I'm also struggling & I get like this every year, I don't know if it's SAD, but it's doing my head in! I'm nowhere near ready for xmas, once I drop my son off to school I come home and go back to bed. The house is a mess and so am I.
Sorry I have no answers but I also take quetiapine and duloxitine and have been for 10 years. I'm seeing the psychiatrist on Monday so I'm hoping for some answers. In the meantime be gentle to yourself and I wish you luck.

Thank you for the kind reply and I'm sorry to hear you struggle too. I hope you're able to find some answers. Do you find your psychiatrist helpful? I used to see one but never really felt comfortable with him and stopped when I found out I was pregnant, which is when I stopped taking the medication. I probably should go back on the medication but I don't think it helps me at this time of year particularly. I've been thinking about going to see a therapist/counsellor (not sure if they are the same thing), but I feel nervous as I have no idea what that would be like.

My house is a mess too btw. It's awful. I made a half hearted attempt at cleaning the other day but it's in a state.

Have another go at cleaning..

I love to vacuum when the tube fair rattles with grit and the house looks a different colour after.... I an not joking ... I am not going to risk wearing out a vacuum cleaner .. but it does feel good when I do it.

Thanks for your kind words bluebob. I'm seeing the psychiatrist on Monday (19th), but like you I don't find them very helpful. The service is mega stretched in my area & im not accessing the help they suggest. To be honest I can't be arsed, same old stuff I've heard for years. I don't engage so why should they bother with me? The appointment will be just a medication review, although I've had most of the AD's over the years & the answer isn't in a pill. I've been offered ECT in the past & im seriously considering it as I've been treated for depression since I was 18 and I'm 53 now and no better.
How are you today? I hope the fog is clearing a bit for you and you are able to enjoy your dd again

Me too. It's the work social do tomorrow night and yet again I can't face going, my colleagues all think that I am super unfriendly but I can't face walking into a room full of people. I have to do it often as part of my job and it's hell on earth, I can't do it for a social get together

I hope it went ok for you bongbongbam, whatever you decided to do and you're coping

I have been feeling better. I think writing this post helped. Although I did nearly burst into tears when the woman who works at my local shop asked if I was ok the other day. Think I looked a bit of a state. And I did actually burst into tears at a toddler group earlier in the week. That was really embarrassing. I could not stop. But despite that I am feeling less foggy. Thank you for the replies and sorry I have been slow to post.

I hope you're ok BingBong. Whether you went to the social or not.

for everyone.