Is PND back as couselling bringing up bad past or is it the alchol ??????

[piscesgirl]

Am driving myself mad cos I feel depressed again. Cant go out even though I know I should cos the sun is out. Got no energy. Kids stuck in front of the TV. House a mess. Everyone living off takeaways and crap food cos I am in nowhere land and am not "normal mummy" making nice healthy food. DP down the pub coz fed up with me being depressed. God I am fed up with me feeling depressed. Everything was going ok on the antideps and it seemed like PND was behind me. Have been on them for 5 months now but of recent have started to drink here and there and then last week had a big night out and got most drunk. Also doing counselling as was told I should start after suffering with PND. Have touched upon difficult stuff this week and now am left wondering is it the drinking that has messed me up again or is it the counselling bringing up my depressing past? Dont know what to do. I cant believe that even though I am taking antideps that I could still get depressed. I feel so guilty towards my family that I am feeling like this again. They have all had to put up with me ill for so long and now because of what I dont know I am back here again in this horrible place. Just wanted to have a rant really. It makes me feel better to know I can do so on MN. Oh well am off to raid the biscuit tin. Boring myself now !!!

The drinking will be stopping your antidepressants working properly, so you need to knock it on the head I'm afraid. Councelling can be hard hard work - it makes you think about things you don't want to think about, things that are hard to think about.

it doesn't matter if the kids are watching telly. It doesn't matter if the house is a mess, but I suspect you would feel better yourself if it wasn't.

If I were you, I'd clear the kitchen and sort out a very low mess tea. Put the bins out, that sort of stuff. Buy in some paper plate and bowls if you want - I have used them for a few weeks in the past when I couldn't face the tyrenny of the sink. They recycle, don't feel guilty. Poundland sell them.

This isn't forever, it gets better and one day you will look back on this time and breath a sigh of relief that it's not the way you feel now. I promise.

crikey, you sound just like me. feels like im at the mercy of some rollercoaster or something, tis a total PITA. my advice? wait it out. is prob a combination of all things... tiredness too... it all seems worse than it is (always does) and will get brighter when you stop kicking yourself for being so crap and just allow it to happen..and then pass.
well, thats my approach anyway. and it may be a terrible idea, but ive given the counselling a miss for the last few weeks also as i really dont feel up to it.
have a nice packet of biscuits/tub of ice-cream/bath/haircut and cut yourself some slack... it will pass. it always does, right?

I know though, that sometimes it is more than you can do to put a bra on, never mind clear up a whole kitchen.

colditz' advice way more useful and sensible than mine

how true colditz. sigh.

Thanks colditz. I am gonna invest in some of those paper plates next time I am in town !!!! DS2 is fed up watching TV now and tipping his jigsaws on the floor to add to the mess. Oh well hope the day I look back on all this is soon

Honest. They were a godsend. I could drag myself to prepare a sandwich because I didn't dread washing the plate! £1 is a small price, in my mind, for not washing up 40 plates when you just can't.

Depression is so hard, and it is compounded by tiredness. I remember hardly feeling able to lift my head.

But, I don't feel like that now. It does get better.

Was posting then got your messages nappiesgalore. Also good advice - thank you. I know like you say it will pass. Thing is I am trying to force it to pass and as we all know these things come and go when they want - not when you want !! My counselling is getting quite heavy now and I suppose I just like to have a glass of wine when I come back but I know I have to leave it. DS2 is trying to delete my message as I am typing it. He is driving me mad little angel Thanks again for the advice.

at least know youre far from alone. whaile you wait that is!

Sometimes just need to know that you are not the only one ! DS2 now asleep on the sofa so can turn cbeebies off hurrah!! Will watch some TV myself now. TTFN x

yeah pisces. last few days been right there with ya. we should share a virtual girls night in with videos and munchies (or just go to bed and get some sleep. seperately obv! lol. thats what im doing now... sleep tight.

Sounds good nappiesgalore. Trouble is I have already started on the munchies (a twirl actually!) And as for the film - well was gonna watch Brokeback Mountain but instead am on MN again! Suppose I should hit the sack too. Hoping that tomorrow the dreaded gloomy mummy will be gone and that super mummy will be back. We will see ??????????? Good night xx

hi pisces. how are you today? im a bit pathetic tbh... sigh...

off to read while i have some peace

Hi nappiesgalore! Just dragged my sorry butt in front of the computer. No change on the mood front for me either. Might go and see the doctor if this keeps up. Hope you had a peaceful read !!!