Breach of confidentiality?

[TheDollyLlama]

I'm currently signed off due to a peak in anxiety. I don't like discussing it so have specifically requested it be kept from my co workers. My partner phoned my manager and informed her Tuesday, Wednesday morning HR phoned me and discussed it and today after visiting the doctor, I have been signed off.

To reach HR I would need to call through my office, which I didn't want to do, so I text my manager asking her to get HR to call me.

HR calls and I discuss the fact I'm signed off and plan of action etc and near the end of the call mention I was upset that my manager had gone to a close friend of mine in the office and prompted her with "oh and do you know why Dolly is off.....?"

My friend knows I have anxiety. I discussed how it had been peaking lately but no mention of how bad exactly. My partner mentioned I'd had this conversation with said friend on the first phone call to my manager but not that I'd discussed this.

My friend twigged and said yes. Her and my manager discussed this and my friend text me to check I was ok. I know she meant no harm and she's been a great help but I specifically requested NO ONE be informed so was understandably upset.

Back to the call with HR, I mentioned how I was upset then got my manager shout in the background "I never said that!" At NO point was it mentioned she was listening in, I thought I was on a private call. She tried to take the phone off HR to discuss with me and I got dreadfully upset and hung up and totally sobbed my heart out.

Surely this is wrong to A - prompt my friend when she should have just thought i was off with a sickness bug like everyone else and B - be listening in, unannounced on a private call to HR?!

Yes, both things are wrong, but assuming you want to keep working there unfortuneately I can't really see that there's anything much you can do about it. I would recommend writing to the relevant person with an official complaint outlining the above but that's more to try and prevent it happening again in future or to another person. And then hopefully they will also apologise, but apart from an apology I'm unsure of what kind of redress you were envisioning?

Sorry to hear that you've not been feeling well and I'm sure all of this on top is making you feel worse. Maybe try to focus on yourself and your health now and deal with this issue later? Because you and your health are the most important things

Thank you meadow. I want to continue working there, I like my job and my colleagues but felt so attacked in what I felt should have been a sensitive and private call.

Was more me making sure I wasn't making something out of nothing as it will certainly be broached by them in my 'back to work' meeting.

It sounds as if your manager went to HR, and asked them to call you from their office and was there when they did.