Tonight I realise I am trapped in despair. I have lost everything and can see no point in going on with this charade called life. I have lost my home, my job, my boyfriend and my mum is dying. I am in debt and cant see anyway forward. I don't even have a pound to buy food, I am overdrawn, have bills pilling up and no where to turn. I have applied for jobs since losing my job last month, been for interviews etc and today I lost my phone, its a cheap £12 pay as you go mobile, yet someone decided to nick it from me...so now finding work will be near on impossible. My boyfriend made it clear hes interested only in sex and other women and in fact taunts his antics in front of me...there is one glimmer of hope for me and that is my son, he is worried about me and I cant bear to hurt him. He lived through all my problems. when his father attacked us and forced the sale of the family home, when my ex boyfriend used to make me cry by running me down time and time again. Christmas is on the horizon and I cant even buy a tin of beans but the world seems to be buying everything that seems so unimportant in the scheme of things. How has my life come to this.