Hypomania (I think)

[LittlePurplePig]

I don't have an official diagnosis, because I have declined referral, but successive GPs now have alluded to me having bipolar disorder. I expect they mean bipolar 2 or cyclothymia, as I don't feel I've experienced full blown mania, although there definitely have been times when I've made incredibly daft decisions, personally and financially, I've never got to the point of delusions or psychosis. I may just have answered my own question there . Anyway, I am just thinking at the moment, what is the harm with being hypomanic? I feel great today, I sprang awake, the house is sparkling, everything is super organised, work is fantastic, I'm going to yoga three times a week, I feel very productive and energetic. I don't need a lot of sleep when I'm not depressed but I am sleeping well at night for 5 hours or so. I have OCD traits as well (again not formally diagnosed, I decline psych referral, but consistent) and my intrusive thoughts are at a minimum and I'm managing them well, plus the upswing in energy means I am able to do everything I need to to 'satisfy' the ocd thoughts so I feel less anxious about that, if it makes sense. So this up/high feeling does not feel detrimental to me at all. It feels like it's solving all the problems I 'usually' have with low mood, anxiety, obsessive intrusive thoughts etc.

I am on an antidepressant only. It had smoothed over some of the lowest lows. I have also been through CBT, am well versed in self care etc.

I guess my question is - what really is the harm in feeling like this? Obviously if it 'tips over' and I do daft stuff it's not great, but if it's just being super efficient productive and feeling that everything is super dandy, then isn't that a good thing? If it's kept in check? My DP is good at humouring me but pointing out when my flights of fancy get a bit silly.

And my other question, IF I relent and accept the GP referring me and IF a psychiatrist does think I have a bipolar disorder, my understanding is that they might recommend a mood stabiliser alongside the antidepressant - what effect would that have? Would it take away this great feeling I have at the moment? My bank balance might be thankful, but otherwise I want to treasure these periods when everything is shiny and beautiful and fantastic.

Bump

They make me write down everywhere 'I am at risk at the moment' even when mildly hypomanic, and tell my friends this, it's also automatic revocation of driving license until at least 3 months of med compliance and euthymia- dvla don't seem to have any discretion. I think a psychiatrist would stop the antidepressants and replace them with an antipsychotic or an anticonvulsant or lithium since you can't really treat elation and depression selectively longer term, they are part of a whole.

I think if it's not detrimental to your life, and is in fact beneficial, then why would you treat it?

Swings and roundabouts and a kind of consolation for the bad times? If you had no history of mh problems you'd just be seen as being very energetic and capable, probably.
Do people close to you have the same positive opinion of your behaviour though? It could help to get an objective view maybe.

LittlePig,

All I can say is that I am a manic depressive. I have never gotten as far as being sectioned or trying to start a revolution or doing anything really wild.... But I have done some pretty stupid things during manic episodes. None of them actually bad, but rather very unwise with adverse after effects. Indeed on reflection a prolonged episode of manic bahaviour has just cost me a budding political career in local government.. (I said things in public that upset the powers that be). This happened whilst I was trying to stay of my meds on the rational I am not behaving toooooo badly..., (my meds take the edge of life)

Yeh right

A few weeks ago I realised I had been getting out of hand and went back on meds... Well what happened has happened and I can't undo it...So to sumarise. Stay of meds if you can, but if my experience is anything to go by, you are likely to get sometning wrong sometime...

Alternatively, do you have a Dp who you can trust to tell you when to can it?
And can you can it when told to take five?

I have bipolar. I totally understand why you want to maintain things at this level. It feels amazing. But for me, it's not my normal mood.

IME, my mood either gets higher until it's unmanageable, or it tips into a depression. The longer I'm manic, or the higher I go, the bigger the crash and the deeper the depression.

I'm pretty experienced at managing it now and I can feel it coming from a mile off which is my cue to take extra meds and sleep it off. Mostly, my ups and downs are minor blips these days.

The high just isn't worth it

Btw, I take anti psychotics and anti depressants