If I was to die today

[FrenchLinen201]

My only child would inherit £200k. I think that's worth more to her than having me as a shit mum. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't take anti depressants, they make me worse.

I think your child would pay twice that amount to keep you in her life. You are worth far more than any amount of money to her.

Please call the Samaritans to chat

Whatever it is you are going through, I promise it will get better.

Money isn't the issue. Have you got someone with you or that you can speak to in RL?

I have people in RL, but they don't understand. I live on my own and it's just pointless

Oh French hugs I sometimes feel like this. But then I think of family and friends and they don't want money... they just want me. You might feel like a shit mum... but your kid loves you. NO amount of money will ever bring back someone you love. No amount.

It will get better, please ring the Samaritans to talk to someone, they are great.

It's not pointless and you're worth much more than money.

If you can, talk to someone OP, whether that's ringing the Samaritans or someone in RL or just continuing to talk on here for a while. Also, be gentle to yourself. I bet you're not a shit mum.

Hello FrenchLinen201, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here as Frequency has suggested, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

You are ill, it's a lack of a substance in the Brain usually Serotonin all you need is to see a Dr and get the necessary medication and you will feel much better and have a wonderful life with your beautiful Dd. Please get help, one day you will look back and think thank goodness I didn't give all this up.

Thank you LisaMumsnet for the links

even when you are being, in your own words, as 'shit' mum you still mean the world to your children. Kids would much rather have a mum than no mum, and prefer a mum to material goods. Even when you think you are doing crap, your kids still love you and just accept you for how things are at the moment. Things can, and will get better. Although you might not have had a good experience with AD's it's a good idea to get yourself to the GP as soon as

How are you French I hope you have managed to get some help?

I hope you've received help and are feeling more positive, OP.

I'm pretty sure that insurance policies don't pay out when it's a death by suicide.