Hi,
I had PND after the birth of my second child, who is now nearly 9. I managed to get through that but have suffered from anxiety ever since. Also have had episodes of high anxiety/intrusive thoughts for the past few years. I was on citalopram for my anxiety up until getting pregnant, I had an idea I might be pregnant so stopped taking before I even got a positive test. Anxiety was high in the first trimester, registrar prescribed me citalopram at 15 weeks but I was scared of the effect on the baby and managed to claw myself out of the dark place I had got into without taking them.
I am now in my third trimester and was feeling OK, however 3 weeks ago two things happened: 1. I finished work, and 2. I had a hospital appointment where the doctor said it might be worth going onto the medication before birth so I don't crash too much afterwards. I have so much time on my hands now that this is playing on my mind in an almost obsessive way.
Now I'm terrified I'm going to be really ill once the baby is born. It's not even PND I'm really scared of, it's the thought of the intrusive thoughts etc and I'm terrified I might totally lose touch with reality. It's started to make me feel ill now, I feel like it's all building up.
I know that when I'm on citalopram it helps massively, however the research I've done into taking it during pregnancy has scared me. I've read studies saying it can dramatically increase the chances of the child developing autism. I've read about newborn breathing problems and withdrawal symptoms. I couldn't forgive myself if any of the above occurred. I feel suffocated and trapped and don't know what to do for the best.
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Mental health
My fear of PND is making me ill now
2 replies
sj257 · 19/11/2016 20:25
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