Showing affection, or lack of

[myhandywork]

Dont really know where to start with this. Was just wondering how much affection you show your children and is it influenced by how you were brought up.
I have been feeling really down lately, no confidence etc. And I keep coming back to the same point. My relationship with my own mother was pretty crap. Didnt realize it at the time, just thought I was an odd child, ( probably was!). But there was never any show of effection ever, no hugs, kisses, nothing, ever. She was very caring, in her own way, but having my own children is making me reflect on my own childhood, and i am starting to feel quite bitter about it, which i dont like,
sorry if i'm being dramatic,

just wanted to let you know you are not alone. its good news that you recognise where your own feelings are now coming from. It doesn't make it any easier mind. the biterness is wasted,. i feel resentful that this is affecting my own adult relationships and confidence, and I am trying really hard to overcome this. we know taht rationally, we are 'above' this. i try really hard to be the oposite with my kids. I'm rambling now... sorry to hear you feel sad, if i can offer any supportto you, I'm here..

Thank you, I am over whelmed with relief that i am not the only one who feels this, I do try to be different with my dc but it does not come naturally to me. Of course I do love them to bits.

Message withdrawn

My mother is an alcoholoic, which has wrecked her marriage and it is now down to me (i feel) to help her. One thing the realisation about her has brougt to me is the knowledge that I wasn't an 'odd' child, just had a very unhappy mother. as a child you are racking your brain to figure out what you've done 'wrong'. the truth is - 'nothing' - that gives me comfort now that I know the problem is not mine. i do feel resentful that I am now an adult with massive esteem issues because of this - so the legacy is there. I have come to terms with the fact that I can't go back. hindsight is a wasted emotion, and we can only look forward. i will be in and out all day, but please post again if you want to chat some more.x

I do feel guilty for feeling like this, generally i had a happy stable childhood, just with out any affection from my mother. Have never considered counselling, I am having a particularly bad week. Much better usually. My mother died 20 years ago and i always thought that she was this perfect natural mother. Having my own children has made me question that.

Your right about the 'odd' thing. After all this time i am starting to realize this.