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Stranger standing on a road bridge ..

74 replies

willowcatkin111 · 15/11/2016 19:19

.. in the middle of the night - what do you do, stop, call the police or ignore?

OP posts:
FinderofNeedles · 15/11/2016 21:49

One morning, driving to work over a bridge, I spotted a man lying on the ground looking through the parapet into the river. The police station was 2 minutes away so I went straight there. I am very aware of the position you mention (ie if he wants to end it, who am I to stop him) but I couldn't just drive on, it would have preyed on my mind.

CoolCarrie · 15/11/2016 21:50

Willow, you are a stranger to us, but we care about you and how you are feeling.

Halloweensnake · 15/11/2016 21:50

Oh dear,just read the whole thread....hope your ok op....do you need to talk...while your on here talking your not doing anything you might regret....

Cocklodger · 15/11/2016 21:50

that includes you OP.
I know you've had a few harsh comments but tbf your comment earlier was quite offensive.
You're worth keeping on this planet.
and if I saw you stood on that bridge, I'd be there for you. Even if I couldn't stop I'd call the police and keep you in my mind for years to come.
I'm sorry you are having a tough time, please seek help.
I care if you live

Halloweensnake · 15/11/2016 21:51

I care too x

FinderofNeedles · 15/11/2016 21:53

Willow, I should have RTFT before posting.

MN is here for you, we are listening and want to help you.

Dawndonnaagain · 15/11/2016 21:55

willow, this happened to my son recently, only it was him standing on the bridge. He knew he shouldn't be there, he knew it wasn't really him. Somebody sorted him out, and it turns out it's a (relatively) common occurrence with the medication he was taking. He's off it now and on something else and the difference is incredible.
Point I'm trying to make is, if you're feeling rough do go and talk to someone first in case it's the meds exacerbating stuff.

3littlebadgers · 15/11/2016 21:56

Willow we are here, as everyone has said. Do you want to talk about what is getting you down? Is it something you can identify?

Coconutty · 15/11/2016 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SemiNormal · 15/11/2016 22:04

I would call. I have been suicidal and it's awful trying to get help, perhaps someone reaching out to me in my hour of need would have prevented my attempts.

That said It's not. It's a valid point of view. People have the right to self determination, and that includes determining to end their own life. - this struck a cord with me. My brother had what I would view as a breakdown and wanted to end his own life. I called the GP to come out and the GP sided with him to some extent, he said that there was nothing 'wrong' with my brother and that sometimes people just get tired of living and that ultimately it was his choice and there was basically nothing we could do because he wasn't 'ill' - my mum and I were stood there like goldfish - jaws on the floor! I still don't know if he said it to 'shock' my brother out of it or what but it left me perplexed. My brother has also been on and off ADs since forever so idk how GP could think there was nothing 'wrong' but perhaps he was right?

OP if you are considering something then please go to A&E or phone Samaritans. I know how difficult it can be to get help, to ask for help etc and sometimes you have to knock on several doors before one opens. I was completely of the mindset that things wouldn't get better for me, ever, but they did, after about 20yrs of hell I came out of the other side and I am thankful every single day that I managed to stick it out - it was worth it!

PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 15/11/2016 22:04

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
Sending the kindest of wishes to you - we are going to move this out of AIBU as it's not really where it belongs

youarenotkiddingme · 15/11/2016 22:08

Call the police. I am actually in agreement with those that say people should have the right to make decision about their own life. But it's not just them they are making decisions for.

My friends DD and her pals witnessed a suicide on the way home from school today. Jumps off a car park. Her 11yo and their friends now have to deal with seeing a persons brains splattered across a concrete pavement.
The effects for them are going to be long term. Sad

PutUpWithRain · 15/11/2016 22:14

Imagine this thread is a bridge. MNers are driving by. They're stopping to see if you're ok. Complete strangers, each and every one of us, but we want to help you. Even if it's just to get through tonight. You can rant, you can vent, you can just read the messages. But if complete strangers are reaching out to you, then all is not lost, OP. You are worth saving.

willowcatkin111 · 15/11/2016 22:19

Seems I am in a minority of 1 that would actually help someone complete suicide rather than stop them.
The usual comment is how 'selfish' to take your life - but what about the selfishness of those that want to stop you find peace and condemn you to live in 'hell'.
Maybe that explains a lot about me ...

OP posts:
EnergeticMartian · 15/11/2016 22:21

Thinking of you OP.

SingaSong12 · 15/11/2016 22:22

OP please contact someone for support and help. As I said in previous post I have been suicidal and I found the Samaritans were very helpful because they were just there. If you or anyone else on the thread is suicidal or (you don't have to be suicidal) do contact them or another organisation or person.

PurpleDaisies · 15/11/2016 22:23

The usual comment is how 'selfish' to take your life - but what about the selfishness of those that want to stop you find peace and condemn you to live in 'hell'.

It's not selfishness to want someone to recover. You can't see clearly through the veil of depression. Flowers

SarcasmMode · 15/11/2016 22:30

You seem to have a lot of pain OP. I'm sorry for that.

Yes with those with prolonged illness I feel if you really wish to you should be able to take your own life. But my respect is gone for anyone who would do that and risk others in the process.

I too understand if you had a terminally ill relative helping them end their life, though not sure I could do it myself. But I'd hate myself for even thinking of just letting a depressed person end their life on the whim of the illness.

I've been severely depressed. I can barely remember what happened. But I know for a fact I saw the world differently and wasn't me. So in essence I felt partially possessed - in which case if I had tried to kill myself and nobody intervened I'd have been on the sidelines watching my end.

I'm sure you have good reasons for why you feel the way you do but I'm sure there are good reasons to see why living may just be the better choice. Things will never improve if you stay on a loop.

VioletRoar · 15/11/2016 22:31

Oh willow I'm so sorry you feel this way. I've been where you are. I hated family for not allowing me to kill myself. Things are completely different now. I'm sending you love and peaceful thoughts.

SemiNormal · 15/11/2016 22:41

The usual comment is how 'selfish' to take your life - but what about the selfishness of those that want to stop you find peace and condemn you to live in 'hell'. - I hear you - I absolutely used to feel this way, I really understand this way of thinking.... but is there peace at the end of death? we don't really know, none of us. There could be nothingness, which may seem comforting when you feel the world is collapsing in on you, but it's final, it's nothingness forever - no chance or glimmer of hope of things to get better. Flowers

NavyandWhite · 16/11/2016 07:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnxiousCarer · 16/11/2016 10:14

Huge hugs to you OP.

In answer you your origional question, I would call the police, and if I felt the situation was safe for me to do so I would stop and talk to the person. I have been suicidal, I remember sitting looking at a load of tablets crying because I didn't want to die, I didn't want to leave my family, but I didn't see any other option. Luckily my flatmate was in and he did! 15 years later I'm so glad that I am alive. I would always want to give someone else that chance to recover.

I have also seen many people at the ends of their lives who don't want furthur treatment, who want to slip away peacefully with dignity and I respect that. These are people dying and don't want to prolong their deaths, that is very different from someone who is severely depressed and can recover with treatment, which you can OP.

My DH suffers with serious mental illness, he has made numerous suicide attempts. I remember during his worst crisis he dsapeared and I had no contact with him, he wasn't answering his phone. I became convinced that he had taken his own life and for a short while even wondered if that was for the best considering the hell that he was living through at the time. Thankfully DH is safe and well and with treatment his life is no longer hellish, he is generally a happy person, who very much enjoys being alive.

I know right now life is hell, but this will pass. This is the rock bottom, the only way from here is up. There are a lot of people who care for you OP.

Clickclickclick · 16/11/2016 10:34

The usual comment is how 'selfish' to take your life - but what about the selfishness of those that want to stop you find peace and condemn you to live in 'hell'.

I have absolutely felt like this. For quite a long time, and I felt like I was the only sane and rational one for thinking this way too.

I got medication and after a few weeks I felt less like this. And eventually I didn't feel like this at all.

Now I recognise how thinking like this is truly a sign that there's something wrong with the chemistry in their brain. Please get help OP. You can evaluate things when you're better, and I promise you, you won't feel this horrible for ever.

I'd help a stranger on the side of a bridge.

klassy · 16/11/2016 10:51

Depression and MH issues really fuck with your brain.

Of course we want to help you off the bridge willow. Many of us have stood there ourselves and only know looking back how much our own heads were fucking with us. And we've seen our loved ones there too.

Have you got anyone to talk to? Seeing someone like that must have been another huge trigger for you.

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