alternatives to antidepressants

[InvisibleCloak]

I'm at a very low point.....again. Sick of feeling like there is heavy blanket over my head. I was on antidepressants before for 7 years and I finally came off them a year ago. I've had a rough couple of years, and right now I'm feeling as low as I ever have done and I'm feeling a bit out of my depth. I dread going to GP as they will just give me another prescription for ADs which I'm loathed to take, I hated the way they made me feel and I couldn't get off them. What are the alternatives? I really need to do something, I have no motivation to do anything day to day anymore, I feel lazy and I hate myself and I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel right now. Single parenting is hardwork and lonely. All my friends have their other halves and most of my family don't speak to me. I need a bit of a handhold, sorry.

Friends? A boyfriend? Sex? Psychotherapy? Running?

Listen up,, this issue isnt going to fix itself and popping pills is only a short term crutch to buy some time before you crash again. You truly have to help yourself and seek help. That involves getting out there, go for a walk ,go do stuff,network,meet people. In the mean time heres a top book recommendation

Brilliant CBT by Dr Stephen Briars

I know exactly how you feel so you have my sympathies
I am too scared to go to the doctor as I've been turned away with nothing despite telling him I wanted to die
I have massive ups and downs, I'm kinda in the middle at the moment
Here are the things I do to try and get myself out of it

Take it a day at a time, or an hour at a time if you have too, congratulate yourself on small victories e.g. Kids off to school on time, kids bathed
Well done me, I'm doing ok (sounds silly but it helps me)
Get out the house, sometimes it takes all my energy just to get dressed but force yourself, walk, walk as far as you can, some where you've never walked before, maybe in the countryside, hear the birds, jump in a puddle, see a squirrel, realise how beautiful the world is
Treat yourself, it doesn't have to cost much, a long hot bath, a fancy cake, tell yourself you deserve it
And finally don't be so hard on yourself, you're still alive, you have a home and kids that love you, as long as they are fed and warm and you all are happy you're a winner
Hang in there :)

Thank you Bigdeal (your post choked me up a bit) it's so nice to hear others are going through this. I will take your advice, I have been walking 3km daily for the last week and I have been going to yoga, I have given up alcohol. I think I need to stop being so hard on myself, you are right, I just feel like if I tell the children off (pre-teen daughter who seems to have matriarchal aspirations within our family) it turns in to a huge row and I feel like such a failure as a mum. I seem to have this image that everyone else is living this perfect Waltonesque life and I've failed my children by not being able to give them a normal nuclear family life.
Thank you Manfrommancc you are right, my sentiments exactly - I don't want to take those damn pills again. I will have a look at that book recommendation, it looks great - thank you.

ManfromMan I have just ordered a used copy from Amazon - £2.80 including next day delivery - thank you.

Perfect Waltonesque life.
I pranged the car last week and shouted "FUCK!!!" In front of the 6 year old.
The house desperately needs hoovering.
We have a pizza from the freezer tonight.
I am fat and sore and depression creeping in a bit.
Waltonesque. Not here!
But I know the people you mean. The ones with the big smiles and perfect FB act. The thing is none of us knows how others are really doing.
Pills can be useful. I also did CBT. You absolutely need to be kinder to yourself. All parents have to tell kids off sometimes. No kids are perfect. Neither are we. We can only do our very best.

You are definitely not alone, other people's lives are far from perfect, they just keep it hidden
I have a volatile 14 year old daughter, dont sweat the small stuff, avoid the arguments
At the end of the day congratulate yourself, you did it, you made it through another day, and you can make it through the next one and the one after that
You're doing great, keep positive x

My husband laughs when I say "well that's another day successfully completed, well done me"
As long as everyone's still alive, fed and clean, I'm doing alright

Thanks Woolfie my kids hear profanities all the time, I'm so ashamed, definitely not Waltonesque here either. I stay off FB, its depressing to see everyone flaunting their perfect little chocolate box lives

I think we should return here everyday BigDeal, and pat each other on the back

Take no notice of facebook ! People only put what they want you to see! No one ever puts " no hoovering done for a week, haven't washed my hair for 3 days, gave the kids nuggets and chocolate for tea"
It's all "took the kids foraging in the forest and then came home and did a nature project and they cooked their own organic tea aren't I marvellous!!" Makes me laugh rather than envious...
We all question our parenting - no one gives us a manual at the start.
There was a good thing on FB a while ago.
How to be a good parent.

1. Have a kid
2. Feed them and stuff
3. tell anyone who criticises you to ** off !!

I am trying to be kinder to myself and not be so hung up on how kids are doing. My emotional state revolves so much around DD's. If she's had a good day (she has major anxiety issues) then I'm ok. If not it feels like the world has ended. She had a major toddler-esque tantrum yesterday and I ended up crying as well. I know that if I did something (anything!) like going out somewhere, tidying up, doing gardening, exercise I'd feel much better, but all I feel is fat frumpy and lazy and sad. I know that today I'll spend an hour on computer eating cake and drinking tea and then sit on the sofa and stare at the wall before going back to bed. Then I feel guilty about being such a crap mum and person. It's a vicious circle. Sertraline did help me feel more normal but I only took it for a few months before stopping. I'm wondering if I should try it again...