How do you let go of stuff?

[fimblespants]

Me and Dh have spent the last year coming out of a seriously bad patch which has lasted since my pg with our 1st child (getting on for 5 years ago now). Of course there was fault on both sides and I am the 1st to admit that I can be tough to live with but he let me down badly on numerous occasions, most notably demanding a separation from me when I was in hosp with hyperemesis in pg no2 cos he 'couldn't cope with all this'.

I don't want to carry this stuff forward with me, and most of the time I am pretty ok with it. HOwever, there are times when I just hit a real wall with stuff and just want to scream and rail at him in a way which would not (!) help either of us.

How can I let go of this crap and move on?

Wise words please.

(Am a regular, bt know too many people to be too open in my real name.)

Wish I could offer the wise words you seek. I think it must be very hard to forgive and forget someone deserting you just when you needed their support. 'For better, for worse..in sickness and in health' and all that. I bet you felt you couldn't cope with it all either. I remember a friend of mine telling me when I was going through a tricky patch that you should keep on giving even when you feel like you're not getting anything in return. I have tried to to this with my dh and it's bloody hard. Sometimes I have felt like walking away but know I never would so the only other alternative is to try to forgive and move on. Can you talk to him about how you feel or doesn't that get you anywhere? best of luck

Thanks for the response spidermum. I have tried to talk about it - problem is he's not a great talker and also thinks it should all be forgotten now. Its almost as if he thinks I need to punish him if I try to talk about it. Its not like that at all; I have (pretty much forgiven) him and we do pretty well these days. I just can't help brooding about it sometimes, and I don't want to be there anymore.