How do you cope with this? My partner is on the verge of walking out.
Mine seems to have been re-triggered by having my son, who I wanted to be a girl...to correct my own "ugliness". To make things worse, a very happy in love couple I know have had a daughter and I'm now obsessed with them, because I have convinced myself that their daughter will be beautiful, and I wish I could have a daughter who was as beautiful - I haven't even seen their daughter!
I am now compulsively checking their social media many, many times a day. And find when I enter this cycle I become almost deluded because to me at the time it all makes sense. But there is also a part of my mind where I know it is ridiculous. I literally think of them the first thing when I wake up, and the last thing when I go to bed. If it wasn't them, it would be someone else.
I am so tired of having to be directed by my mind, I just want to escape it.