BPD and completely spontaneous feelings of doom

[BeautyGoesToBenidorm]

I have a relatively new BPD diagnosis (a few months old), which is comorbid with bipolar 1 (officially diagnosed 14 years ago). I'm due to start MBT in December.

I've always been a bit prone to anxiety, but does anyone else just get completely out of the blue, unprovoked, uncircumstantial bouts of dread? Or ones springing up from the smallest things? For example, I had a spoken assignment due in for my OU degree. I was shaking and feeling sick the entire time I was doing the voice recording - it wasn't even in front of anyone, ffs - and even though I completed it hours ago, I feel awful. Low, anxious, feeling like everything's doomed... it's ridiculous.

The feeling isn't even attached to the anxiety of my exam anymore, it's taken on a life of its own and now I won't relax til DH gets home, as I need the reassurance that he IS coming home. It's pitiful really.

Is this a BPD thing I haven't yet learned to manage? Any tips about how to process the feelings and not let myself sink into a funk?

Yes, I also have BPD.

In depressive phase I get anxiety both before an event and also going over stuff that's happened in my head repetitively.

I also think about self harm and suicide. Particularly when I'm driving (I think because I don't have enough occupying my mind). Not with any intent but I have to keep pushing the thought away.

I also get irritable and short tempered with DH and the kids. I actually find a glass of wine or a G+T really helps me chill out.

I get it and I don't get it..

I get depressed for.. Although it doesn't come of suddenly but rather over a couple of days.

I don't get why... I have not managed to associate periods of depression with any particular event.. Although I can associate drinking too much with feeling less energetic and more fed up.. The problem there is I do enjoy a drink... or three...