Don't want my DD anymore

[SparkleFlutterShy]

I don't feel like i can take care of my DD properly anymore after my brothers suicide. She's in nursery right now and I'm due to pick her up soon big I can't face looking after her.

I want to be with my brother. He's been gone for a day and s half now and I just can't cope.

DD is 10 months old and I do love her I just don't have the energy to feed her change her and bathe her. I really want my brother back.

I think in the end it'll be your DD that gets you through this.

He sounded like an amazing man. Be proud he was in you life. Talk about him, it clearly makes you feel better!

How are you feeling Sparkle?

How are things going now?

Still feeling up and down throughout the day. Trying to carry on as normal like going to lectures and trying to do some work.

I can't stop thinking about him. My other brother and I were talking about his childhood and how it must've been hard for him being the older sibling and taking on the responsibility that my dad should have done. But I don't think that's the reason why he's not here today. I've even tried to justify what he did in my head by telling myself that what he did was a rational choice, because he has no obligation to continue with HIS life. I don't know anymore.

Why has no one invented a time machine?. I would make things perfect

Thank you grey and moonlight. Appreciate you asking

sharing his poetry really does sound like a wonderful way to share his legacy

He sounds like such a beautiful person. Your love for him shines through in your description of him.

( I don't know why are you barely scraped a B in English, it was beautifully written)

Looked a his photos from baby to teen years. Cried my eyes out.

How does anyone overcome anything like this?

((((((((()))))))))))))). I don't think you will over come it Sparkle. I wish I could say "The pain lessons, but I'd never give false hope. It does however becomes easier to manage the pain and heart ache as time goes on.

And There'll still be days 30 years down the linr. When you'll think about you brother and cry your heart out.
Grief is a very very very long road, and uoyve only just started your journey.
Look after yourself. And have a bloody good cry. And remember. We're always here. . Xx

Hi. Just checking in to see how you are? I don't have words of wisdom but hope you are coping. xx

I hear good things about cruise counselling sparkle as a way of talking through grief, maybe when you're ready, you could look them up. It's such a huge thing you're going through, please don't try to go it alone