Feel shit about wasting my inheritance.

[malificent7]

I get 'high' occasionally and go on spending sprees and make poor money decisions.
I inherited some money to get a deposit on a tiny shoebox house. The problem is that I had no perms ant job and was single so couldn't get a mortgage. I stopped receiving benefits as had saving over 16, 000 so this all went on rent.
I had a few nice holidays abroad ( budget ones) and got dd and I some nice essential furniture such as a new bed etc.

I also frittered a lot on nice clothes and jewellery largely to cheer me up as I was feeling shit about myself, lonely, unhappy in my career and unstable. These are the purchases I feel bad about.
When I eventually got a job I was bullied out and was desperate to change careers so I spent £2,000 on a course which I didn't complete.

How can I feel better about all this? I have a more stable job but feel crap with money.

I also spent a bit on my kittens but I don't feel too bad about that as love them!

My career has been a series of car crashes and train wrecks. I have never managed to get things together and am always short of money. I have often thought about the many many decisions i have made over my life, (now nearly 60[eek]).

In the end I have come to understand that if I had my time again, I would do the same again because I am who and what I am. I can't undo the past, so there is no point in looking back in regret. I have come to love myself more by coming to terms with myself. It hasn't been easy and yes I do would prfer I could do things different. But there is no more point in that than wishing .i could have been a jocky... (I am 6'2").

I see other people who are more financially successful and I will admit I worry about the future. But I am where I am. Does that make sense?

Your inheritance was used to cheer you up, create some memories and keep you afloat for a while, which doesn't sound bad at all.

Could you go back and finish the course. That might at least help you feel you achieved something . Is there any left now, if so could you invest it in say an Isa so you can't access it impulsively and will still ah e some left in future.

I spent about $700,000 of my mums inheritance on drugs, hookers, being unemployed and still having a mortgage. It lasted me 3 years and now I have nothing.
I have to block out what I’ve done or I’ll be destroyed.