Can't believe I'm back here again.

[EveOnline2016]

Didn't even last a year without taking sodding tablets, should I just face the fact that I will never be able to function without tablets.

Theres nothing shameful about taking tablets. If you were diabetic would you feel bad about taking insulin.

Having said that, have you had any councelling or therapy to help you deal with any underlying issues?

Some people need them. I need my inhaler!
No different.
I took anti depressants but then had CBT and left the job that was making me depressed. I VERY slowly came off them and I'm much better. But if shit happens I'm sure I will be back on them!

A friend of mine has tried to function for ages without antidepressants and due to a few hideous events this year is back on them and feeling so much better, I am really glad she is feeling better and I think she is relieved. But she used to take herself off them when she felt OK, then felt worse.

As anxiouscarer said people take medicine for all sorts of reasons, I take tablets every day for something else too to keep me alive!

Are you ok at the moment eve?

Eve,
I am back on tablets... I think I feel better.And to echo Checkpoint ..
How are you?

Really not good mentally. At least this time I know the symptoms.

Virtual hugs..

Why can't I just function as a normal person.

I wish I could understand why I get so depressed, dh suggested speaking to someone but I really don't know what to talk about.

Had a goodish childhood even if my mother did have MH problems and would show when she occasionally had a drink.

I think you need to stop beating yourself up about this - it is bad enough to have a chronic recurring illness without seeming to blame yourself for it. If you had an under-active thyroid, or diabetes or in fact anything else you would just be getting on taking the tablets with no emotional overlay.

I have been taking anti-Ds for 2 years after a severe depressive episode that followed on from surgery. I am happy to go on taking what is needed to keep me well. I would not have chosen this path, but it chose me and I have to just get on with it. One of my daughters is in a similar boat - the tablets keep her well and that is what matters.

You need to discuss with your GP adding in a "talking therapy" - you may find this will help you.

OP, if you had a dodgy thyroid, or any other physical condition which required meds, would you blame yourself or feel responsible for your condition? Depression is an illness in the same way as this. Realising you need tablets, asking for them and taking them is a Brave Thing. You are stronger than lots of people. You haven't failed at anything...depression has failed you. You are doing what you need to stay well

I've had the same problem for years on and off .... I can never seem to come off them either and I completely understand how it makes you feel when you so desperately want to do well without them.
But the other posters here are right and it really isn't anything to be ashamed of - I'm trying CBT for the first time so will let you know how that goes! I'm a bit dubious too....
But - if the tablets keep you feeling well mentally then so be it - my GP always says to me "some people's brains just need a bit of help chemically" it's no different to any other illness. X

if you need them take them, don't feel bad, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I stopped my medicine and was ok for a few months now I realise I shouldn't have stopped. I'm going back on mine tonight.

Eve,
as Chocolate says.. it is an illness.. like diabetes or thyroiditis ..As an illness it really like any other illness.

Meanwhile the BBC were saying today that 70% of big name musical talent suffers from depression and MH problems.. The only problem is that thee and me are not famous..

OP you are a normal person. There doesn't have to be a "reason" you have depression. Like there's no reason" I have asthma.
I found CBT really helpful. It's not about talking about problems but about changing your behaviour. I find exercise really helps me. Even getting out for a Walk is really beneficial.

Thank you all, I am overwhelmed by the people responding.

Just realised I haven't had a bath/shower since Friday. How the fuck could I have let my self get this bad

Stop it! That last sentence is the depression talking. A person with an illness doesn't "let it get bad". It just is. Perhaps set it as a goal for tomorrow then feel good when you achieve it?
Are you seeing GP again soon? Any other treatment other than the pills? You CAN get better. Really you can.

Just pills ATM the gp wants to see me in 3 weeks time and she did say the dose would increase then as it needs to be slow

Any CBT or similar?
How about that shower tomorrow. You will feel so much better. Maybe set one small goal a day?

Just thinking of you, Eve. How is today going for you?

Anxiety through the roof today. The school run is going to leave me exhausted.