Bad parent and miserable

[Martha200]

I have a 3yr old, and I seem to find myself in circles of being fine to feeling crap and finding it difficult just to get through the day. I wish I were more patient, did more with my 3yr old, I feel so guilty when I feel so low (because there is no need to be) I am married, I am on a pt course. I know some people in our area. I'm just so tired of feeling so down every so often for no real reason. When I talk to my husband I realise that actually our son is doing ok, but I still worry about the effect I will have on him, when I am grouchy and frankly what I consider lazy.
Thought I would feel better after last nights sleep but I don't, still have a headache, still feel tired. Sorry if this appears like I am feeling sorry for myself, just need to air it somewhere!

Oh my God. This could've been me yesterday.
Cheer up hon.
I also have a 3 year old dd1. and a 6 mth old.
Was berating myself all day for being so grouchy and snappy in the morning. (Am NOT a morning person at the best of times )
Feel constantly guilty about sitting dd1 in front of a dvd so I can have 10 mins peace from toddler chatter. Esp when dd2 is asleep.
Feel I should be sitting playing with her or baking or making something with pipecleaners and glitter, but this is the real world and I think most of us do it.

Glad (in a sick guilty way) to hear it. I'm so sure I'm a terrible mom. They's be better off without me (as would dh) . . . etc. But if I feel bad surely that means I care, which must mean I'm not bad??? Does that make sense? Motherhood is too emotional, traumatic and confusing.

yeah. noone tells you about this kind of stuff before hand do they??
Some days we go out, and the tv doesn't even get turned on, or we're out doing stuff all day, but I forget that when I feel crappy.
We're all human. Who can be chattered at all day, everyday and not snap sometimes!!

Hey, 3 year olds can be bloody hideous. Don't feel guilty for feeling low, it's not like you can help it. Try getting a little bit of fresh air - walk your 3 year old to a shop specifically to buy him a treat. His delight will rub off on you.

I know EXACTUALY how you're feeling because I have been feeling very similar lately.
Being a parent is blimmin hard work at times & can test your patience like nothing on earth!
Try not to beat yourself up - we all have these moments!

I reckon the toddler years are the hardest.
Sitting around on the carpet doing jigsaws, playing with bricks was so not me!

I love newborns but then I would quite happily give them back, to have them returned at about 5 years old. Then you can start to have conversations and do other less mind numbing stuff.

If it is any consolation, for those of us who feel this way, I think it does get easier as they get older. The problems change as opposed to going away but they become problems I feel I can deal with better. Some of us are just made this way I suppose.

Martha, your little one will soon grow and this knackering time will be behind you. It does pass very quickly.

OMG I am so glad I read this thread. I have ds1 3 and ds2 7mths and constantly feel tired and sometimes a little detached from DS1 There are times when I just wish he'd stop saying "mummy" "mummy" "mummy" and leave me alone, double I too am guilty of putting TV on just for a bit of a rest whilst DS2 is asleep but there is that nagging guilt that I should be doing something with him but to be honest I'm so tired some days that the thought of making another play-dou shape is enough to tip me over the edge. Glad to know I am not alone.

They are such such such hard work at that age. Remember when ds was 2 and 3 vowing never ever to have another dc.

Dd now 7 months old and gorgeous, but those horrible times get nearer and nearer, and quite frankly am very apprehensive about it.

Wish they would skip years from 1st birthday, and be returned to you at 4 1/2. They are lovely then!

I think you are quite quite normal, so don't beat yourself up at all. As for t.v, it's second name is Babysitter isn't it?

reading this thread is a relief. I also thought I was the only one. DS nearly 3 spends way too much time watching Dora the explorer and TV in general. But most days I don't feel up to entertaining him/ etc. I do feel guilty that we do not do more "quality" things together.

Thanks for your replies.. been feeling better today
When I feel guilty I feel worse because I think I have the one child not two or three, what on earth will I be like if No 2 comes along!!
Have made myself a little list of things to do to help us positively. My husband jokes that our son doesn't need a sibling at the moment because we wind each other up, and I think he might be onto something, our son feeds off my grouchyness and we start a negative circle until I pull myself together and calm is restored!

Just to add, what worked for me a lot of the time was getting out most days.

As I said, I found craft activities and jigsaws etc. bored me into a stupor half the time but what did work for all of us (me and 2 little ones) was going to the park or just for a walk.

At 3 years old they still find leaves and twigs fascinating and you can pass a good couple of hours walking and talking about such things. It always perked me up to, being outside.

Also try and make friends via toddler groups or music classes ( I did a lot of those two as the onus of entertaining was taken off me!) and then outings with those friends takes a lot of stress off you.

Those friendships I made then (which saved my sanity) have lasted til this day and now the children are at school we meet for coffee and shopping trips and have a good circle of friends for child friendly outings at half terms and holidays.