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Mental health

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Original poster

Tips needed to keep positive when life really kicks you in the teeth?

28 replies

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 20:31

ok i need some tips to try and stay positive when everything around me is so difficult, how do i pull myself out of it or do i just kinda muddle throu?

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 08/02/2007 20:37

Music - anytime i feel stressed i put music on and it helps me to laugh or smile.

Other than that in my mind i try and fast forward time and imagine myself in a few hours, days, year etc until whatever it is that's bothering me will be resolved. The worst problems in the world don't last forever, you will be happy again at some point i like to think.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 20:40

thanks, i am finding it really hard to think about the future or see anything positive in it, the future seems so scary and uncertain right now

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mamama · 08/02/2007 20:41

I think it depends on your situation, how bad you feel and what support you have. There are some good tips on this thread.

Can we help with anything?

HTH

mamama · 08/02/2007 20:45

I just looked at your profile - I imagine your day to day life is rather a challenge but I don't really know anything more than I saw on there... Is it related to this?

btw, my sister's name is Bethan!

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 20:54

i think its a mixture of the kids and DH he was DX with MS & a brain tumour 2 weeks ago, we have had to cancel next weeks holiday when we really could do with a holiday, DH is struggling at the moment and keeps talking about dying

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skibump · 08/02/2007 20:57

OJ {{{}}} Can't suggest anything really useful, but hugs are good

skibump · 08/02/2007 20:58

Sorry, smiley face really inappropriate

mamama · 08/02/2007 21:02

Ohhh, {{bighugs}} to you. Is there any support offered to you by the hospital? Presumably he's being treated - maybe they can offer some support for the family? Or your GP should be able to help.

I'm really sorry. x

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 21:03

i dunno i am just wallowing and feeling sorry for myself and DH, i fear for the future and have no control of it

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expatinscotland · 08/02/2007 21:04

i say go for it! wallow in it!

i do and feel much better for it.

mamama · 08/02/2007 21:07

You're allowed to wallow, but I bet that's not what you're doing.

Of course you're worried, it must be very hard to come to terms with all of this and I imagine the future is very hard to picture. Do you have any help or anyone in RL who you can talk to?

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 21:13

no treatment yet he has to go back for more scans to check for growth and changes, biopsy to risky at present so we just have to wait. as for RL people, its very difficult for me to talk to people in know cos they are too close or i can't talk as i get too upset

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Jimjams2 · 08/02/2007 21:17

chatters?

I think you have to roll with it OJ and know that you feel down at the moment, and that that's a completely normal response, but also that it will pass, as you find out more about dh's conditions. I feel like that after minute things like birthdays and annual reviews. Try to make time for yourself as well (I can hear you laughing) but really, if you can do.

mamama · 08/02/2007 21:17

Hmmm, I do understand how it is sometimes easier to get things out on here rather than talking in RL.

I'm sorry you have to wait - that must be very stressful for you all.

Is there anything any of us can do?

Can you go on holiday in the UK? Somewhere not too far from home, just for a short break?

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 21:26

i have spent the morning doing DS statement review report, i think as well that when i feel like this i don't want to bring other people down, everyone around me coonsiders me a positive person and ussually i am. i should turn the tv off as child genius is on and i don't think it's helping

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Bananaknickers · 08/02/2007 21:34

Try to look for small things everyday. Things that we don't always notice but are there If we look

Natural highs

Being in love.

2.laughing so hard your face hurts 3.A hot shower. 4.No queues at the supermarket

taking a drive on a pretty road.
hearing your favourite song on the radio

7.lying in bed listening to the rain outside (knowing you do not have to go out in it)

Hot towels fresh out of the dyer.

9.Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla or strawberry) 10. A bubble bath 11.Giggling. 12. A good conversation 13. Finding a 10 pound note in your coat from last winter 14.Running through sprinklers. 15. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all 16.Having someone tell you you are lovely 17. Accidentally overhearing someone saying something nice about you. 18.Waking up and realising you still have a few hours left to sleep. 19.Making friends or spending time with old ones. 20.Having someone play with your hair. 21. Sweet dreams 22.Making eye contact with a complete stranger 23.Holding hands with someone you care about. 24.Running into an old friend and realising that some things never change 25. Watching someones face when they open a much desired present from you. 26.Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day 27.Knowing someone misses you. 28.Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply. 29.Knowing you have done the right thing no matter what other people think. 30.Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

bit cheesy I know but works for me

mamama · 08/02/2007 21:39

Its hard to stay positive all the time - you don't have to keep up appearances. I know sometimes it is easier to do that than admit you need a bit of support.

There must have been positive things in the Statement review though? I know they can be very draining meetings.

Can you find a bit of time for yourself? A nice bath or a drink or coffee with a friend? I imagine you are exhausted.

{hug}

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 21:47

i had to write my sons statement report and have had to give the reasons why he should move to SN school.
i am very tired not getting much sleep.the neuro bloke has said that DH can not drive due to him having warning signs of epilepsy, he keeps getting weird tastes and smells this could be a sign of onset of seizures which means i can't really leave him alone for long, he has denial days where he says theres nothing wrong with him, then down days where he has designed his own headstone, he has memory loss and keeps asking me the same questions over and over again, so i feel really drained with it.

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mamama · 08/02/2007 21:51

Oh crikey - what a lot on your plate.

I wish I could be of some help. I'm really sorry.

{hug}

expatinscotland · 08/02/2007 21:52

i think you're in need of some serious support and you should just GO WITH IT for a bit!

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 21:55

it does help in a way to write stuff down, i don't really expect anyone to really be able to DO anything, if there was anything to be done as such then i would be doing it.
i am sure these feeling will pass but it's just scary being where i am and i can't really talk it throu with DH or his family and i don't have any family except DH and kids.

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Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 21:57

the in laws are having the kids for the weekend soon, we were hoping to go away for one night but DH not keen at the moment and doesn't want to plan ahead.

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Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 21:59

i am kinda worrying about going with it thou cos i am the only one who can to hold it together. so a lot of responsibility.

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mamama · 08/02/2007 22:04

Yes, that is a lot of responsibility. I'm sure that a break from the kids will be good for both of you though.

Please don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 08/02/2007 22:34

thanks so much for all your support it does help. i am gonna go and try to get some sleep and hope that the kids sleep tonight

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