Did I have a mental breakdown?

[justarandomer]

I'm late teens.
l felt like this from April-July.
My first true love broke up with me.
My childhood dog died.
Stress of exams.

I couldnt sleep in my bed, I had to sleep in another room.
I got obsessed with my ex. He was always on my mind.
I went crazy or so I thought.
I couldn't bear to do normal things like go to the shop.
I'd just cry cry and cry.
I am a guy.
My hair started to fall out. Which was confirmed by a specialist.

My friends were all super concerned about me.
I couldn't talk to people.
I became obsessed with strange things, such as Jewishness.
Would read depressive poetry.
Breakdown of friendships.
Extreme exsistential nihilism, insofar as saw life as pointless.

It was as if my childhood innocence was snatched away from me.

I keep getting stages back where I feel numb, lack motivation, cold and nihilistic. I'm going through one now where I've lost feelings for a guy I was dating since July, and have so ended things.

Do I have some sort of mental health issue or is this just life!

Hello justarandomer

"Mental breakdown" is one of those ill-defined things. Only a doctor can diagnose a mental health issue; however, the mental health diagnoses themselves are not particularly well defined and diagnostic categories change over time as well. For what little it is worth, when I broke down last year I had a mental health diagnosis but felt as if the symptoms that warrant that diagnosis fitted little with my experience. I much preferred the Wikipedia definition of Existential Crisis.

You mentioned that you are in your late teens. Are you studying? I ask this because many places where people can study have some mental health support attached to them. When I was a student I was able to access some short-term counselling via the place where I was studying. The number of sessions that the counselling centre could offer was limited; at the same time I found it helpful because in part because the counselling centre were very experienced in seeing people who were having the types of problems people of my age at the time tended to have (such as, in my case, moving away from my family home, and find the pressure of studying to be too much to cope with). When I saw the counsellor attached to the college counselling centre, my mental health was never questioned. I just found it supportive to have someone understanding with whom I could talk my experiences over. If you are at school, I know that my school used to have at least one counsellor attached to the school although I never saw the school counsellor when I was studying at school. I know someone who did, though, although they did not tell me they had seen the school counsellor until later, i.e., you do not have to tell anyone.

This could be one route, if you wanted to get some support, but did not feel as if you wanted to go and consult a doctor about it. If you are in your late teens, you would be able to access the support without talking to your parents, if that is what you felt you wanted to do. If you are working, your employer may have a similar set-up, depending on the size of your employer. If you are doing neither, then your GP may be able to point you in the right direction, but I find GPs to be variable in terms of how supportive they are when it comes to existential crises.

I experienced depression in my early 20s very similar to what you describe. I saw a councellor from my uni which was very helpful and later started on antidepressants from my GP who was also very helpful. I would definately reccommend speaking to your GP and if possible accessing councelling as PP suggests.