How normal is it to blame yourself for dc mental health issues?

[malificent7]

I have struggled with poor mental health in the past and now I am relatively stable, on citralopran etc. However, I do get anxious about parenting. I would say that I'm a loving but busy mum who can be shouty when pushed but also cuddly when relaxed. I am not that patient when in a rush and I work ft.

DD seems quite anxious atm. She is 8 and having some issues , she used to be fine being left with a sitter or my dad but recently has become very clingy. This is a vicious circle as it makes me feel very trapped and more short with her. She has had some crying spells about her real dad who she has never met and melt downs re my lovely dp who she is jealous of.

I do blame myself for her anxiety. I guess I feel totally overwhelmed with the responsibility of bringing up a child and making sure that she has good mental health when my own mental health isn't great and sometimes means I am not the mum I want to be. I veer from loving motherhood to hating it.

I just don't want her to suffer like I did . My mum had bipolar.

Hope this helps but I think it is fairly normal to think if your child is anxious you may have contributed MH issues.
I think you should think kindly of yourself and her. Apologise to her if you feel you have been short and explain you get tired. Could you plan time to share and talk about her day for 10 minutes to let her know you will listen and to make it easier for you to communicate.
My father died when I was her age so I can understand that she may find it upsetting that her father is not in contact and maybe it makes more insecure about your commitment to her.