I posted on here quite a while ago and thought things had improved. But lately I've started to feel down and anxious about everything.
DS (5 months) has really bad excema/rashes/spots on his face and that makes me upset - I have started to feel jealous of other mums whose babies have lovely skin. Also I've started to worry that he's not developing properly and there is something wrong with him. He's not yet started to roll over or lie on his front and doesn't seem to push with his legs when I hold him upright to stand. There's not anything medically wrong with him as far as I know but to me he just looks/seems wrong. I feel really bad saying that - I should think my own son is perfect but I just worry about everything being ok.
I've not been getting on too well with my partner since DS was born - I find it impossible to relax properly even when DS has gone to bed. I think DP is also getting depressed because I don't pay him any attention apart from to nag and moan at him. He said the other day that he doesn't think I love him any more. I think I do but finding it really hard to muster up any enthusiasm about it.
I'm not sure I want to take ADs because sometimes I feel fine. I'm not always crying, I just feel anxious a lot. I wish I could unconditionally love both DP and DS but feel as though I'm always finding fault with them (and myself).