It's all too much

[Lazylou]

Sorry in advance, this could be a long one.

Basically I am 25 years old, I work full time in a nursery, I attend University on a full time degree course (although I only have to attend twice a week outside of work hours to do the number of required hours) and I have a dd aged 3.

Just lately, I have been feeling really positive about everything I am trying to do. My degree will allow me to move on to bigger and better things which will not only benefit me, but will be of benefit to DH and DD.

However, things at work have been getting progressively worse. I was offered the job 3 months ago and took it immediately. The vibes I got from the nursery manager were great and she said she would support me through my studies etc etc. I gave her the mentor handbook to read through so she knew exactly what she was letting herself in for and knowing all of this, she still took me on. Most of my uni work has to be carried out with 3-5 year olds. She knew this and still stuck me in the baby room. When I voiced my concerns to her about this, I was told that there would be plenty of opportunities to swap with pre-school staff so I could carry out whatever college work I needed to do.

This never happens and most of my work has to be carried out with the babies and this is really putting a strain on my uni work because I have to make it all relevant.

I had already started my degree before I applied for a job there so my manager knew the whole story before interviewing me. She is now unreasonable about the hours I have to be at uni (I have to leave 3 hours early one day a week) and has made me stay on numerous occasions, to the point where I am now getting into trouble at the university. If it was a thing I started on normal hours and then started the course, mucking up her system, then fair enough, but she knew the score and I think she is being bloody unreasonable tbh.

I can't cope anymore with the treatment she gives me. One colleague had a screaming argument with me in front of the children and I have been ignored over it by my other colleagues. I know my manager has spoken to her about it and I also know she got away with it, but I get funny looks or sarky comments and I never shouted or argued back with her. It's blatant favouritsim all the way.

I'm so pissed off that today I didn't bother even going in and I know that is bad, but I can't face it anymore. My life isn't my own, my DH and DD are suffering and a job search has thrown up nothing that I could go to part time.

I wouldn't mind, but they are getting paid in excess of six thousand pounds from the local authority to employ me there over a two year period so I feel they should be a bit nicer to me.

Sorry for that, and if you're still reading, thanks! I feel a bit better now but I'll have to go in tomorrow and face the music. Might even get the sack with a little bit of luck

It sounds AWFUL at work. Is it a requirement of your course that you work in a nursery or similiar? Or could you look for work elsewhere? If they're not giving you experience of the right age group anyway, what's the point of sticking with them?

It is a requirement of the course that I do a minimum of 16 hours per week in an early years setting. I thought about maybe going to work in a school setting, but then there is DD to think about. She is happy and settled at this nursery (she comes with me) and I feel that it would be horrible to move her, especially as she is developing so well there.

Mmm, that is awkward if DD is there too - how much longer will it be before she starts school?
It does sound as if a school setting would be more up your street age range-wise, and it will probably be more interesting and better run NC-wise.
Is there someone in charge of your course who could advise you?

(Was thinking that the uni might be able to help you get a job/placement.)

Hello, you know what, I think you should leave that nursery soon as you can and find another if possible. There is nothing worse than if work makes you feel awful and you get in the loop when you think it will get better and it invariably doesn't but instead makes you feel more and more rubbish. It sounds like your manager is taking the piss and obviously had no intention of putting you with the older children. I know this sounds harsh, but you have to make yourself the number one and remember you and your feelings are the most importamt thing here. I hope it works out for you xxx

Hmmm, I was thinking of just not returning to the place tbh, but that is not professional and not in the interests of DD either. I have spoken continuously to the tutors at uni so they are fully aware of my situation and have been really supportive. The trouble with finding another placement is the funding I received for my course. I have to stick in the borough that funded me for the duration of the course so if I can't find another job, it looks like I am going to be stuck there for a little while yet