Do babies remember their mum's PND?

[iwouldgoouttonight]

Probably a silly question but I've been feeling depressed on and off since DS was born. Sometimes feel absolutely fine, sometimes feel really down. I'm going to go to the doctors again to try and sort it out, but I've started to worry about how its affecting DS - he often sees me crying or staring into space. Sometimes I can go for hours without really talking to him properly - will he remember this when he's older and be affected by it? I so want to give him the best start in life but feel as though I've messed it up for him already.

Oh bless you, of course he won't remember it and the fact that you care enough to be concerned about this shows that you love him and have his best interests at heart. That's what he will remember.

Well my mum had PND and I certainly can't remembe it. Can't even remember her being depressed with my brother (which she was) 6 years later.

Iwgot....are you getting help with this? Your baby will not consciously remember this but it will be affecting him, just as you were affected by your mother's depression when you were tiny, and you are right to be concerned about this from both of your points of view.....no blame at all, and guilt is not appropriate, new motherhood is a huge crisis of identity and brings all sorts of stuff up for us all, quite aside from hormones being all over the place....it can be the loneliest place in the world being a new mother, and we were not built to do it alone, which we are often expected to in modern western society.

are you being supported emotionally by loved ones? do use mumsnet as a place to vent and to say how you feel emotionally, but please please seek help in real life too, it is important. See you GP, there are specialist counsellors in this area too. Also, if you can, reach out to people you trust and let them know how you feel, and that you need a break as often as possible, practical help and a listening and non-judgemental ear.

Sounds like you are doing well. Going back to the GP is a sound idea. Im sure your DS is fine, and will be. You are clearly trying to handle this and thats a good thing.

I think there is enough guilt bound up with being a mum without feeling guilty about our babies being affected by an illness. I'm the same - I try to hide my crying from dd because I can't bear to see her little face when she sees me - she knows something isn't right. I'm sure they don't remember it, but when you're in it it's hard to think you'll ever be out of it, and that's what makes it so hard. Right now I feel like I'm setting my dd up for a life with a depressed mother and I can't bear that.

My mum had severe PND after me. I don't remember that. What I do remember is many years after that of her being abusive and cold to me, because she had written off our relationship and decided to concentrate on my sister with whom she had had a 'good start'. From your posting that sort of attitude is miles away from the one you have to DS.

I really think that even if PND does cause problems for a baby (and who knows what those, if any, might be), childhood is a continual process of growth and development and a child is always forming new ideas about himself and others. You love your child and even if he sees you cry at one point, he will know that that is not 'all' of you.