Health Anxiety

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Just a safe haven for all health anxiety sufferers that may be lurking on the mental health forum to share stories and help one another through the many ups and downs.

As a former and recovered health anxiety sufferer I know all to well the worry, upset and symptoms that arise from this illness and will try and help where I can

Delurking.

HA is a horrible, debilitating, isolating condition.

Mine began in March, and I've done my best, but I'm seeing my GP on Tues to see what medication options there are - it cannot be a coincidence that this all began a few months after stopping citalopram (I thought I was well enough to stop).

It began with worrying about whether or not I have a type of tumour called a pheochromocytoma. This is not as outlandish as it sounds since I have a genetic mutation which causes it - I am screened annually. Anyway, this year, my scan had to be postponed as the York MRI scanner has to be made compatible with my new-ish cochlear implant.

Since then, I think I've managed to induce some of the same symptoms! I get quite a few pvc's (I have always had these but they are increasing), and go about feeling like I am about to drop down dead of a heart attack. I've had horrible panic attacks, developed pulsatile tinnitus (so this is obviously a sign of a tumour in the head and nothing at all to do with having had surgery in the affected ear .... in fact, the implant centre said it was all normal), dizziness. Familiar complaints, I'm sure.

I've joined a PVC support group, seem to spend hours on the net diagnosing myself with things like supraventicular tachycardia. I have hidden in bed checking my pulse, and afraid to actually go to bed as that's when I notice the skips more.

The ridiculous thing? I get maybe 20-30 a day, and I'm sure 95% of those are caused by this anxiety. I had various heart tests before my surgery two years ago and was deemed athletic! I doubt I've developed some awful disease in the interim. So ... the pvc happens, which generates fear, which generates more, and on it goes. I need to break the cycle as I'm becoming a nervous wreck!!

Not looking for advice as such .... I'd say it's good to know others are having similar experiences, and that I'm not going mad.

Hi good to see this thread.

I'm a health anxiety sufferer too. Recently I found myself googling Dignitas clinic phone number to find out how easy it would be to end my life because of being convinced I had cancer.

I think the guilt of leaving children is a strong theme. This is the part that really affects me too.

Sending best wishes to all

Another HA sufferer here! Infact I have joined MN just for this thread!

A bit on me. I first experienced HA as a mid teen (i am now mid forties) after a very minor bout of OCD (following my parents divorce)

Over the years I have gone for very long periods without it being a problem and other times where it was serious affecting my ability to enjoy life.

Things that I found to help:

1. mindfulness does help me distance myself from my thoughts and keep the worries under control - the same applies for cbt.
2. I do take a low dose antidepressant. I fought for a long time against taking them until I was referred to a brilliant psychiatrist. I come from one of those families with both anxiety issues on both sides of family. In my particular case I think there is a definite vulnerability to anxiety.

My mum died when I was in my late twenties (very suddenly and of a misdiagnosed illness) which of course being a HA sufferer is your worst nightmare. Interestingly my HA disappeared in the aftermath only to rear its head in my mid thirties.

Mostly these days things good. I do have my moments though and it tends to happening when I am stressed out by other things and feeling a bit out of control.

Best get on and do some work but just wanted to say hello and hope that everyone is doing OK.

HA here too. Not sure if anyone else thinks this way but for years I've just assumed I'm not going to live until 'old age' or even retirement. This, as you can imagine had had some knock on effects in my life. Maybe some of it has been positive, living for now instead of waiting for one day in the future but is has also resulted in spending money on my 'bucket list' items such as owning a horse and overseas holidays. Nothing wrong with that except that I didn't plan for the future or buy a house until recently (no kids.)

Does anyone else actually avoid going to the doctor to discuss their health fears? My thinking is that if I don't go then the strange feeling, symptom or pain isn't confirmed and I can live in denial a bit longer.

The scary thing about cancer is that it can be busily growing inside you, possibly only producing vague symptoms until you finally get properly I'll and theju it's too late.

HA is a curse that drains your enjoyment of life! My focus is also cancer and it scares me beyond words. 1in 3 people will get cancer in their lifetime, that's about a third?

I've had cbt twice which helped but since becoming peri menopausal my anxiety has become heightened and my dark thoughts are destroying me. I used to always go to the dr if I had a worry but they started to get a bit fed up with me. One gp said to me that one day it would be like the boy who cried wolf! So now I stay away from my gp. I have a severe phobia of medical testing.

Stupidly I once avoided going to the doctor for severe abdominal pain until days after I had it. I'm pretty sure this pain would have most people running to A and E but stupid me would rather put up with it than find out it was cancer. Good thing it wasn't appendicitis! (Pretty sure it was kidney stones)

I think going through a trauma is probably really connected.
My Dad died suddenly at home when I was 24, I was the one to find him dead, along with my brother.

I also identify with the idea of not living into old age.
I tend to visit the doctors for reassurance, but also to stop the guilt feelings. It's almost like saying to myself 'right, I've done what I can, had the tests etc, if I die now at least I've done my best, so it can't be my fault...
Sending best wishes to all on this thread.

Update: Went to G.P thinking it was 100% mental, but she's ran bloodwork for various things (thyroid was one, ferritin, lft (?), calcium, kidney's, other things ...). She then said if that comes back clear, she wants an urgent ct scan (!) to rule out pheochromocytoma as (i) not everyone presents in the typical way and I am high risk, and, (ii) risk of scary interactions with meds if present. If that's ruled out, then we go the anti-depressant route.

Feel reassured that she is on the ball, and every possibility I do have an anxiety disorder.

Godstopper, I hope all is well with the ct and it's just the dr taking you seriously.

Long term HA sufferer here in the middle of a bad session. I've recovered from my brain tumour sufficiently to have ALS at the moment which is nice.

I've had CBT and I can intellectualise what's happening fairly well. This means these days I can recognise what's happening and ride it out but that doesn't stop me waking up at 5 with my heart pounding in the middle of a lovely cortisol surge convinced I'm going to leave my children motherless.

I am terrible with Google but I use it in a different way, to rationalise symptoms. I had post natal ocd and its part of my need to obsess and check. Sometimes I let myself have a go but it rarely helps.

In my time I've had ms, a few brain tumours, ovarian and pancreatic cancer and now als. The als is because I suffer from twitching muscles. I have done for 20 years since I had glandular fever as a student and I've had them on and off since then, often when anxious. I've seen the dr about them a few times and always been told they are benign. There is even a syndrome which I fit perfectly, the first word of which is benign. But no, I must have a rare condition which mostly impacts men over 60.

Worse thing is when I worry about my dd. She is 6 and I'm convinced she has something. It was lukemia in the summer because she had a bad virus which meant she stopped eating and lost some weight. She also had a trainer that rubbed her foot and that made her limp.

Not sure whether to go back to the Drs or not. I don't generally find anti depressants help and I've tried a few. CBT was great but maybe I need a top up.

Phyllis wig- I am just like you. It is so draining. Stress definitely makes it worse though

Good morning fellow nutters!

That nomorepanic set my anxiety off even worse. There are some people on there that gave me more things to think and worry about.

Distraction is the best cure. My DH doesn't even want to listen to my worries and just tells me to go to the doctor and get therapy. I don't want to get therapy as I honestly think deep down I'm dying.

I have had scans and all sorts and still convince myself that only a biopsy would reveal the truth but the doctor didn't even think I needed a scan let alone a biopsy. I had 4 doctors look at me at one point all to tell me the same thing and it STILL didn't reassure me. My brain just said 'I'm one of those cases where they missed it'.

Anyway it's been over a year of panic and some days are better than others. If I get a cold I think it's a sign my body can't cope with infection. I could go on and on.

One thing that does help is taking vitamins daily. I read something about low iron contributing to anxiety and I think taking your vits does help a bit.

Dr Google is the worst.

In the past week, I've diagnosed myself with: ventricular tachycardia, a brain aneurysm, a carotid artery dissection, beri beri, malignant types of palpitations, and a life expectancy of approximately two hours.

I really do think it fuels health anxiety and magnifies any symptoms.

Godstopper I'm proud of that list, it's a good days effort.

True about distractions. I'm fine at work or when I'm busy with the kids. Perhaps I have a relapsing/remitting form of terminal disease, what do we think?

Hi. I'mso glad I've found this thread. I'm in the middle of a huge bout of HA. I keep getting filled with this chill of dread that I have breast cancer. I was at docs today to get my anti depressants and she checked my breasts. All fine. But 4 hours later I'm obsessing and googling again.

I've been referred for CBT. I really hate being like this. I'm just terrified of not being here for my kids.

I'm feeling calmer for typing this. Thanks for all those who have posted. Good to know I'm not alone in this although wish none of us were like this obviously.

Mog it is shit and no mistake. I find it helpful that there are others who think like me as I don't feel quite so alone with it.

CBT really helped me. I can accept this is always going to be part of me but these days I can mostly own it and move through it. I hope your CBT goes well.

Thanks Phyllis. Think there's a long waiting list but it's good to know help is on its way.

I'd like to share this document that helped me.

I printed it out and read it then filled in the answers. It seemed to help just writing things down.

I found it helpful to read it when I was feeling worried about health issues.
I keep it by my bed now to look at occasionally.

http://www.selfhelpguides.ntw.nhs.uk/bsmhft/leaflets/selfhelp/Health%20Anxiety.pdf

Thank you Framey. I found that really helpful.

Framey- that link is great. I recommend the book 'overcoming health anxiety' by D. Veale too. I keep that by my bed and read it when the anxiety starts. I wonder if it will ever really go away for good?

Hi everyone, it's good to know I'm not alone in my thoughts. I have had health anxiety as long as I can remember. Sometimes I go for long periods where it's under control. The last twelve months though have been the worst I've ever had it, in this period I've been convinced I have colon cancer, stomach cancer, pancreatic cancer, kidney cancer, cancer of the ureter, cancer of the eye, a brain tumour and presently its lung cancer. I have had health problems this year (non life threatening!) that have caused symptoms that have triggered my anxiety , but I just keep getting over thinking I have one type of cancer and then a new symptom appears that triggers it off again. I've just had a course of cbt and am desperatly trying to put into practice what I learned whilst dealing with my latest symptom but the compulsion to Google is overwhelming and I've caved! Feels like I am back to square one again woke at 4am today, don't want to eat and am letting the kids veg in front of the TV instead of doing something with them.

I know it's awful. What I find hard is that only people who suffer HA really understand. At the moment I am ok but as soon as I get physical symptoms my mind starts to race and I think it's cancer. In the past thought I have had pancreatic, stomach, colon and ovarian cancer. It is a really lonely condition for me as I can't talk to anyone. My husband often tells me to 'snap out of it'...if only it was as easy as that.xxx

Totally understand how you both feel.
It always seems so real at the time.

MsMoonKat- you say you have had HA for a long time . How long ? Mine started a year ago but I have always been a worrier. I worry I that haven't got anything to worry about sometimes. Do you take any meds for it? I don't, but sometimes I think I need to.

Lovechocolate, It has been a really long time, I can remember reading my mum's medical encyclopedia as a child and then convincing my self I had certain things I'd read about, this was when I was in high school and I'm 40 now! I've also always been a worrier, but this year is the first time I have actually tried meds for it. I've tried diazepam back in January to get me through a bad spell I was having, then longer term (for about 3 months) I was prescribed nortryptaline, but didn't really have good results with it. I'm just trying to practice my cbt techniques at the moment.