I need to relax and enjoy life but how?

[jessmarkat]

Hi, for as long as I can remember, well about the age of 15 I think, I have always been on edge and found it really hard to relax. I always feel like I have a million and one things that I need to do and am permanently shattered. I have been on citalopram for about 10 years and am now up to 40mg a day. I've had counselling which didn't really help. I know my life is fraught, I have 3 girls (10, 13 & 16). My dh is in remission from pancreatic cancer, my father is dying a long and slow death. I also work full time, and, recently my oldest has been self harming. I find that I don't have the patience to enjoy anything as I'm always thinking about something else. Consequently I think I'm ruining my dd's lives as they will always remember me as some stressed out monster (BIG SCREAM)

not surprised you struggle to relax with so much to deal with. can you drop work hours so youve more time for things that matter most?

Thanks for your reply rumred, unfortunately due to dh's illness he's had to take a huge pay cut so I can't really afford to reduce my hours, I just feel trapped.

Hi Jess

You certainly have a lot on your plate.

Whilst I have no where near as much on my plate I can identify with your feelings of anxiety and exhaustion.

I too have been on citalopram. In my case fifteen years up and down from 20mg to 30mg.
Lately I have been feeling more exhausted and stressed with low mood.
Discussed it with a new GP and he offered me Prozac instead of citalopram.
I have been taking them a month now and I have seen a big difference in my mood, energy levels and generally feel better and less stressed.
Perhaps your medication is something you need to look at.

Also my GP referred me to a stress management course many years ago which taught me a lot of coping skills. Perhaps you could look into this also.

Good luck

oh thats hard. maybe speak to GP about changing ADs? can you take some sick leave? and are your friends aware of how tough things are for you? i hope youre getting support at such a shitty time

Are you doing the basics? Exercising? Early nights? Having time alone?

Also start talking to your friends/family about things

Thank you maybe I do need to change my meds.
Gold I do go running whenever I can , I totally love it but then as soon as I get home I just lose the plot again.
My dh knows how I feel but I'm embarrassed to talk to other family members and friends.

you know your family and friends but what ive found is immense kindness and support when i admitted i was struggling and depressed. it has really humbled me. so, maybe try the honest approach? lots of us struggle, its neither shameful nor weak