Can't go on like this but don't know what to do

[Grumpyoldmomma]

Not sure why I'm posting. Maybe just to get it all down in writing. I'm a SAHM with DD9 and DS6. I have suffered depression and anxiety on and off for 15 years and am currently taking Sertraline. My DH works long hours and also does a hobby evenings and Saturdays that earns a few extra pounds. In turn that means I am basically stuck at home.

It is really starting to affect me now and I am resenting my DH as he has freedom, money and basically his life hasn't changed apart from paying a mortgage and supporting us. I miss having my own money and my own independence. It is practically impossible to find a job around his hours. Then there is the anxiety from having been out of work so long.

What do I do? I feel like life is passing me by. I love my DC so much but want to be so much more than DH wife and DC'S mum. Sometimes I feel like walking away from it all. Not sure what I'm asking but maybe just a handhold?

Have you discussed how you are feeling with DH? Does he need to do his hobby every evening and weekend? Can you reach a compromise.

Hi grumplyoldmomma, sorry to hear how you are feeling and I can totally relate to what you have written as feel like I'm in a similar position to you. DH works very long hours and no 2 weeks are the same. Also a SAHM to 2 children, with my youngest needing quite a bit of support, possible Sen going on. Feeling flat and unfulfilled, just not sure how to dig myself out of this. Any courses I find to do always seem to be at the wrong time making childcare tricky. I eat well and try to exercise 2-3 X a week. Not sure whether to see GP about going on antidepressants or to try and "ride it out." I don't know about you but I feel embarrassed discussing this with friends as feel like I should be happy as have lovely husband, good house and don't have the stress of work.